Asian Dating match

You think you got it rough!?

2020.10.26 21:34 Bikerguy2323 You think you got it rough!?

Try being an Asian American on dating apps lol Absolutely zero chance of matching just because for American society, Asian males are undesirable because they are “not manly, nor sexy” 😂
Any Asian American brother can chime in?
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2020.10.26 18:53 ariesv123 (18F) Is the dating scene just this bad or are my standards somehow too high? TW: Rape mention

I’m 18F and recently entered the ONL dating scene in like September. Of course, I just started college and people my age aren’t really looking for relationships and along with that there’s a myriad of reasons why finding someone to share my romantic affection with (at the least) is a bit difficult.
For background, I’m a black female going to a predominantly white institution. When it comes to dating apps, the guys that tend to match with me are mostly white and asian with all kinds of different aesthetics though I don’t have a type and I just swipe if i think he’s attractive and we have something we could possibly talk about.
My rule of thumb is no one looking for hookups, no one that screams of bitterness on their profile, no blank bios, no smokers, which rules out a LOT of people. Nicotine addiction amongst people in my age group is a real and very common problem, and of course no one older than like 23. I have no “height requirement” or even a preference. I talk to a guy for at least a week or two before meeting up and it has to be an actual date, no “hanging out”. I always ask what they’re looking for before meeting up as well and make sure that we can actually hold conversation so this usually leaves only 20 year olds. So far almost every guy from ONL dating that has been interested in going on a date with me has had some sort of red flag later down the line.
The first guy I went on a date(s) with was 22, asian, and lowkey a catfish but who am I to judge. First time in a while I talked to a guy significantly bigger than me. He’s like 5’10 and pushing 200lbs. I’m 5’4 and 110lbs. We had the same ‘edgy’ sense of humor and clicked automatically over the phone. We met up and lied to me about him regularly using puff bars and having somewhat of a dependency on weed. Also somewhat of a tsundere type thing towards me but I didn’t mind it. Alright well, I was already there so let’s continue the date plus I thought I could get over the smoking thing, but I really just can’t. Anyways, he was automatically very affectionate with me which personally I didn’t mind because that’s my love language, but in hindsight that was a red flag too. We’re in a boba tea shop and he smacks my butt, finds ways to try to touch my breast and everytime I tell him he’s making me uncomfortable he “jokingly” complains that I’m being hot and cold and that women don’t know what they want. Alright. We went on like three dates and no change. Never took ANY of my no’s seriously (don’t worry, we didn’t do anything sexual) and the only time he did was when he cornered me in his room and admittedly I had to work up a heavy sob before he backed off. I’m talking mascara running and ‘not being able to catch my breath’. Lowkey hysterics. Pretty humiliating but it probably saved me from getting raped that night. I just end things there by blocking him on everything because he didn’t take me seriously otherwise.
Second guy is white latino(only other 18 year old), very nice and thoughtful but has really bad depression and anxiety. I understand those things can be hard but I recognize that I’m not equipped for that. I didn’t realize how bad it was until later. On the first date, he asks to sleep over (I don’t have a roommate and there’s a second bed because the room is a double). I let him sleep over because the date ended up running to like 11:30 at night but I didn’t sleep at all for safety reasons. In the morning he cries to me about his struggle with porn addiction and erectile dysfunction. No tears ever came out of his eyes, but to give benefit of the doubt that could just be his SSRI’s. Didn’t want to leave my side for a second, even if we both had classes. This was all after ONE DATE and he’s already being emotionally dependent on me. Eventually he does go back to his own dorm and then calls me two days later that he’s outside of my dorm building at 3am and that he missed me so he wanted to sleep over again. I ended things right then and there. Ever since he’s been posting about how he’s in pain and lonely on his tiktok along with pro-communist and anti-theist content (which is ironic because I’m pretty Christian so maybe he posts the anti-theist stuff knowing that I’ll see it? Idk, I don’t have a problem with atheism).
Third guy just recently graduated and he’s filipino, 23 years old. Planning on moving out to LA for his business startup, which is cool. I appreciate the work ethic. Healthy family connection too which is a plus for me. We actually click super well and it seemed too good to be true but then I notice that he still has lots of pictures up with him and his ex and she still has those pictures up too. I didn’t know that she was an ex at the time and I really didn’t want to find out I was getting involved with a guy that was already in a relationship. We talked about it and he explained. Okay, I believe him but i’m somewhat weary. We talk more and red flags start to slowly pop up. He talks about how him and his friends have “gone through women like clothes” but it’s different because he’s a guy and he’s older. I keep my calm composure but in my head i’m like “UM??”. He talks about his past relationship and how he wanted an open relationship and they had one but she was ‘loyal to a fault’ so she never took up the opportunity and would get texts and phone calls all the time from people about how they think her bf was cheating on her. Practically admitting to openly embarrassing your girlfriend at the time while doing something she wasn’t comfortable with and acting like it was her fault. Haha yea no, that was enough for me. I let him down gently over text and he immediately calls me to talk about it. He’s calm the whole time but he’s making faces and every few seconds he changes up what he says he’s hoping for between us and tries seeing loopholes so we can get atleast sexual, lowkey gaslighting. So a womanizer AND manipulative. Cool. Of course I ended things there.
Fourth guy, actually relatively great, 21 years old again. He’s from Japan and wrestles for our D-1 school which is interesting. We go to a restaurant and have pretty casual conversation. Nothing too deep. We talk about common interests and whatnot and it’s nice that he doesn’t think mine are weird or anything. We actually have a similar sense of style and we accidentally ended up matching, which I thought was cute. He compliments my style and he doesn’t pull out his phone at all. He offers me a sip of his drink (which is alcoholic) but I decline because i don’t know him well enough. Eventually the topic of past relationships comes up (I know, that’s like the #1 thing that’s not supposed to happen) and they literally broke up a week before. Great /s. He talks about her anxiety and how he just wants to be there for her all the time and by the sounds of it he’s still trying to get back with her by buying her gifts and texting her constantly. Awesome, so he’s wasting my time. We split the bill (which in hindsight, he might’ve taken as an insult due to cultural differences). After we eat we go on a walk because I truly want to get to know him more. Still more casual conversation about family and the languages we speak. Of course he talks more about his ex and it lowkey sounds like he’s been through a lot of emotional abuse with her, so I sort of understand. The whole time I’m wondering why this guy was even interested in going on a date with me. The date ends and I tell him to text me so I know he gets home safe. Doesn’t text me until like three hours later even though he only lives a 15 minute walk away. Every text I send, he just leaves on open and then replies like an hour later, so I take it as a sign he’s not interested at all. I asked but he left that on delivered lolol.
I won’t lie, I’m quite proud that I’m able to avoid succumbing to subtle manipulation as a young girl but emotionally I’m pretty beat. Now I fully understand why so many people hate dating. OBVIOUSLY there’s something I’m doing wrong here. Is it just a numbers thing? What advice can you give me in spotting not so obvious red flags earlier on? Maybe the age thing is also a red flag? I don’t match with guys my age because of no hookups and no smokers, maybe I should just get over my smoking dealbreaker?
TLDR; The only guys that match with me are older and show some sort of major red flag whether it be that they’re looking to sexually assault me, a womanizer, or emotionally unstable/unavailable. What am I doing wrong? I of course do the usual vetting process before meeting in person and have regular standards and deal breakers. How do I spot not so obvious red flags earlier on so I can avoid wasting time and emotional energy?
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2020.10.26 18:43 AmericanNewt8 Boned: Problems (but not too many) in the US Air [and Space] Force!

No. You don't frighten me, Mollari. If you try to go up against our forces, you'll lose.
Yes, your ships are very impressive in the air, or in space--but at this moment, they are on the ground.
Right--they're on the ground. But they can sense an approaching ship from miles away. So what are you going to do, Mollari, blow up the island?
Actually--now that you mention it--[pulls detonator from pocket]
[presses detonator]
Babylon 5, explaining the vulnerability of aircraft to ground attack in typical hammy fashion
Hello, and welcome to another episode of "AmericanNewt8 explains the global military situation at present in a convenient, possibly easy-to-read guide". Maybe I should make a YouTube channel or something. All the cool kids [and a lot of idiots who know nothing about military equipment] are doing it. Anyway, today we have the US Air [and, for the moment, Space Force--they haven't fully separated yet], and, surprisingly for once, a somewhat more positive message. I'm sorry this one took so long; I've been busy for the past month or so, but I figured I should get this one out I already had 80% done before talking about Turkey and the war in the Caucuses, which are likely to be shorter, more current, and arrive sometime in the next week if all goes as planned.

Current Effortposts In My Series:
  1. What you [might] need to know about South Korea's ludicrous arms buildup
  2. We shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches.... uh, what do we do after that again?: The Perilous Defensive Position of Taiwan
  3. "You've hit another cargo ship? The Problems with the US Navy: Not all of them begin with "Seven" and end with "th Fleet"."
  4. Will China's PLAN survive contact with the enemy?
  5. Biden's New START and modern nuclear war
  6. Boned: Problems (but not too many) in the US Air [and Space!] Force
  7. Erdogan Sallies Forth [inserted largely on account of the recent breakout of a war between Armenia and Azerbaijan]
  8. Begun, the Drone Wars Have: Why You Should Pay Attention To This "Tiny" War
  9. First And Last Stand Of The Tin Can Navies [ASEAN + Australia and the smaller adversaries China may contend with]
  10. --Unnamed-- effortpost on Japanese military matters, mostly about how weird the JSDF status is
  11. --Unnamed--effortpost on Indian military matters, and why they can't focus on China or buy anything that works
  12. --Unnamed--effortpost on the rest of the PLA, mostly the air force though
  13. --Unnamed--effortpost on the rest of the US Armed Forces, mostly talking about how the marines are changing and the Army's new love affair with INF-busting weapons
  14. Conclusion?

1. Our Pride And Joy

America's Navy may be its key instrument of power projection abroad and in some ways the most important service branch, but the one that is by far the greatest beneficiary of American skill, the apex of our capabilities, is without a doubt the US Space Force. From Day 1 the US has had a commanding lead in the field. Mind you, that's not saying that nobody's ever challenged or exceeded the US in limited areas for limited periods of time--the early 1950s were about the last time that happened though [aside for commercial launch vehicles from around 1980-2010]. In the modern era, it is very rare that buying something other than an American-made aircraft or rocket makes any sort of economic or strategic sense [political is of course a different matter entirely]. The US Air Force has generally benefited from high, consistent levels of investment and has had relatively light burdens placed on it operationally [though in recent years post 9/11 this has changed to an extent], and it has developed into one of the best-trained and most doctrinally sophisticated forces in the world. More on that later. Anyway, the Air Force is probably the best-loved branch politically [Marines might be more respected but they get budgetary scraps], at least of the military as a whole, and it ends up with more funding, smarter people, and a much better QOL as a result. In fact Air Force personnel are usually treated to quite a bit of envy and ribbing about how much better their conditions are than their Army, Marine, or Navy counterparts.

2. Aging Equipment [again!]

Guess what? The same problem that seems to afflict most of the US military [and, for that matter, most European, Latin American, and non-East Asian militaries] is aging equipment from the Cold War finally wearing out. In the Air Force, this takes a number of different forms. Often, it's a case of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it", but even then airframes do wear out eventually and need replacement and a lot of them are getting to that point.
Logistics, Support, That Kind of Thing
One of the least glamorous parts of the Air Force, logistical and support capabilities are rapidly aging. The primary airframe the Air Force uses for these is the.. wait for it... Dash 80, as the C-135 whose commercial variant is better known as the Boeing 707. It was a very impressive aircraft, but it was designed in the 1950s. Even though we've reengined the C-135 with more modern engines, and done some serious overhauls, they're getting pretty long in the tooth. Most notably we have the 398 KC-135 Stratotankers which make up the bulk of the US midair refueling fleet, which are joined by 31 E-3 Sentry AWACs, a number of specialized RC-135 derivatives doing everything from SIGINT to hunting for nuclear weapons and 17 E-8 Joint STARS. While these were produced up until the early 1990s, the airframes are aging and they need replacements, and the sheer quantity of aircraft is likely to cause trouble. There are also other aircraft that have to be replaced in the mid-term [by the early 2040s] like the C-5 Galaxy and the KC-10 Extender, but these are somewhat less of an immediate concern. There are some C-130 Hercules replacements also needed but those are largely being done with newer versions of the same aircraft.
The B-1 Lancer is first on the chopping block, due to high maintenance costs and time [it generally takes 120 hours of maintenance for an hour of flight time]. That represents 60 bombers, on paper anyway, and a good chunk of the USAF's supersonic strike capability. However, cutting it should free up resources for new hardware, and in fact new USAF budget proposals suggest rapidly retiring the B-1. The B-2 Spirit is also on the chopping block due to high price and high maintenance demands, but it can't really be replaced until the B-21 Raider shows up. There is also a need to find a replacement for the B-52, but nobody is really sure what that looks like and it's much less urgent--the B-52 will soldier on for the indefinite future and may well hit a full century in operational service. Even if one runs into the "airplane of Thesus" the fact that you could well have fourth or fifth generation B-52 pilots flying on 90-year-old aircraft is, to be honest, kind of neat.
The F-15 and F-16 originally took flight in the 1970s and are still seeing interest today, though the modern F-15 and F-16 are very different beasts from their originals. However, the overall fleet is starting to age--primarily the F-15C fleet operated by the US Air National Guard which does air policing in the US. This is why the Guard is actually first in line for new F-15EX aircraft and has even received brand new F-35s [that, and the fact that the Air National Guard is actually pretty integrated with the Air Force]. F-16s are also starting to wear out; the USAF still operates over a thousand of the type. They are set to primarily be replaced with the F-35, though, with around 1500 aircraft on order. They will also replace the A-10 [along with drones, I suppose], and I'll take a moment to say that the A-10 is heavily overrated, there's a reason the USAF wants to dump it, and it's notorious for friendly fire incidents. Its job would be better done by drones or even aircraft like the Super Tucano.
These are, guess what, also wearing out. The USAF currently operates over 500 T-38 Talon trainers, but it already has a replacement lined up for this aircraft which was first flown in 1959. It just adds to the list of things that need replacing.
Also should mention these, I suppose. The US is currently operating the Minuteman-III) as its sole ground-based nuclear deterrent/ICBM, and these 1970s-era missiles have survived their replacement, the LGM-118 Peacekeeper. They have to be replaced as well, and the USAF actually recently awarded a contract to do so to Northrop Grumman [though there are issues with that mentioned below].
One side-effect of all this is that the Air Force has increasingly high demands for maintenance which are simply not met, which combined with a shortage of maintainers [partially due to good outside pay but mostly because anecdotal reports suggest life as an Air Force maintainer is terrible] means that the Air Force has a poor readiness rate, especially because a lot of airframes aren't in good condition to begin with, having been worn out by decades of use.

3. Procurement Woes... fixed?

So, the Air Force has had a pretty troubled history with procurement in recent years. By far the most infamous one is the F-35. Well, yes, the F-35 was a procurement disaster. Another Redditor has done a great service by writing up the account Ash Carter [Secretary of Defense under Obama] gave of the program. It's long [full version here] and probably doesn't give a full account as it is Carter's memoir--but I'll just pick out one of the most significant parts of it:
At one point of the meeting, after we'd made it abundantly clear that the grossly inflated price for the JSF jets was unacceptable, CEO Bob Stevens casually said to me, "Well, if you tell me how much money you have, I'll tell you how many planes you can buy."
I was taken aback. Rather than negotiating a fair price with us, Stevens was behaving as if his company were entitled to all the money the taxpayers could afford. And although he obviously had a per-plane price in mind, he didn't care to divulge it openly, nor would he agree to a fixed-price contract holding him to it. I found this cavalier attitude offensive. With deeper disrepute, the JSF program would go down the political drain, and we wouldn't be able to buy any of these needed aircraft.
With all this in mind, I let his question hang in the air unanswered for a moment. Then I replied, "How about none?" With that, I walked out of the room. "None" was a reasonable prediction in the political climate surrounding this out-of-control program.
However, the F-35 was a pretty uniquely messed up procurement program due to suffering from what I'd broadly call "jointness", where interservice procurement made things less efficient.

The Air Force on its own has had some pretty impressive procurement messups though. Look no further than the KC-46 Pegasus, a tanker designed to replace the KC-135 [as mentioned above loads of these are getting retired in the next couple years]. The first sign of trouble probably should have been when the first program to replace the tankers with the KC-767 [now the KC-46] was cancelled on account of a bribery scandal involving the CFO of Boeing offering the procurement official an executive position. The second sign probably should have been the whole bit where, unlike its competitor, the A330 MRTT, the KC-767 didn't actually exist. And when the A330 won the contract bid, Boeing of course protested and, ultimately, got the contract evaluated again, with [at least per Northrop Grumman's claims, who was running a joint bid with Airbus] requirements rigged for the KC-767, and, finally, almost a decade after the program started, Boeing won the bid.

Except there was the small problem that Boeing hadn't built the plane yet, which turned into a large one. Ultimately the program was marred by years of delays and major technical problems. It only recently finally began delivering aircraft to the Air Force, years late and over-budget [though the USAF did manage to claw quite a bit of it back from Boeing].

However, there are some positive signs that future procurement will be better. Besides the F-35 being saved, there's the example of the T-X program, which is to replace the elderly T-38 Talon trainer. It invited foreign competition to the field, featured vigorous competition, and resulted in an actually effective aircraft--developed by both Boeing [of course] but also Saab--yes, the Swedes have a significant hand in the trainer jet likely to equip much of the world.

In particular, something very interesting the US Air Force is doing is diving heavily into computer design and open systems architecture. What this means, in short, is that they'll design new planes with a heavy emphasis on doing detailed computer design and simulation, only finally building an aircraft to demonstrate it works IRL--which of course cuts costs substantially--and they'll try to build common hardware and software that will work in any number of aircraft. The overall idea is to make aircraft inexpensive, easy to design, and modular. The Air Force even has a buzzword for this already, the "Digital Century Series", referring to the last time the Air Force very rapidly built a whole bunch of aircraft on a relatively common hardware platform. Whether this will bear fruit remains yet to be seen.

4. Fighting the Peer Conflict

The USAF, for the past thirty years, has not faced a peer competitor. Arguably it didn't even face one before that--the Soviet Air Force was no match for what the USAF could field, as was demonstrated quite well in a number of conflicts. The good news is that the USAF has had a long time to build up a lead, and is still far ahead of China or Russia, further ahead than the Army or Navy is by a long shot--Americans like their planes and electronics. For an illustrative example, China'sJ-20 stealth fighter has been produced in a quantity of... 50; while the USAF has almost 200 F-22s and is ordering over a thousand F-35s. The Su-57 barely even flies and is nowhere near peer to what the United States can field despite whatever scary articles you might have read. The bad news is that only recently has the USAF actually begun preparing to fight a peer conflict, which will tax it in different ways.

The main vulnerabilities the Air Force has in a peer conflict are more logistical and operational than regarding the quality of its aircraft or pilots, which are moreless unmatched. The first problem is that readiness isn't fantastic thanks to the War on Terror burning through all the ancient Cold War aircraft that the USAF has operated, and yes, aircraft do wear out. In fact, large numbers of F-15Cs operated by the US Air National Guard have been grounded due to age and fatigue. The shortage of maintainers also plays a role here. There's also the problem that the US Air Force is still quite vulnerable on the ground in any peer conflict; especially to precision strikes with ballistic and cruise missiles--the US Air Force has downsized considerably and now only has a handful of bases for both political and budgetary reasons, but that means that, when facing, for instance, China, the USAF must rely heavily on just six airfields--Osan, Kunsan, Misawa, Yokota, Kadena and Andersen [maybe bring that to 9 by adding USMC and Navy installations, which field fewer and less capable aircraft].

Thus, the primary challenge that the USAF faces is a quiet one--ensuring that it can operate from dispersed locations, at high opstempo, and repair its facilities rapidly. This is really also the biggest question mark in terms of the USAF's performance, but there's some reason to be optimistic here--the USAF is aware of the threat and is actually working to solve it. However, ultimately only changes in the political environment [the addition of bases in the Philippines or Palau, or the development of readied airfields in Japan] will fix the basing problem. Better ballistic missile defense will probably also help here. Russia or China will probably have poor luck against the USAF in the air; seeking primarily to deny the USAF free reign and thus the ability to support ground offensives, but they could cause significant damage by hitting ground facilities, and everyone knows it.

There's also the question of surface-to-air missiles; which have driven quite a bit of concern the past few years as China and Russia field increasingly capable systems like the S-400 and HQ-9. It is feared that the sophistication of these weapons could create "A2/AD bubbles" where the USAF and USN are unable to operate. While the access bubble does still look quite real for the Navy, recent developments have seriously called the efficacy of surface-to-air missiles into question--particularly the fact that the Israelis and Turks seem to be able to almost ignore them, or at least their shorter-range counterparts. The destruction of Armenian S-300 launchers by Azerbaijan with Turkish drones is certainly an ominous signal for anyone thinking advanced air defenses would keep them safe. How good the full-scale systems are against conventional targets is still unknown, but my guess is much less effective than the marketing--and keep in mind that despite years of concerns, SAMs have only been successful from about 1960-1980, and even then relatively minor adjustments in strategy seemed to significantly mitigate damage--so it's unclear how concerned we should actually be about such technology.

There are also questions about whether or not the USAF is operating the right mix of aircraft for the job, and these are valid ones. The USAF is buying new F-15EX, which has literally been described as not survivable after 2028 [though there is a case for the plane as a carrier of standoff weapons or a homeland defense fighter], and still operates the A-10 [an aircraft now mostly known for a number of notorious blue-on-blue (friendly fire) incidents] which, if used in a modern environment where the USAF didn't have total air supremacy, would simply not be able to survive. Yes, there's a reason the USAF wants to scrap the A-10, and no, the GAU-8 is cool but it doesn't even kill columns of modern main battle tanks. Unless you're primarily planning on fighting North Korea, the A-10 is close to useless(ly dangerous). The B-1 has also been highlighted as obsolete, largely due to high maintenance costs. However, the USAF is working hard to scrap these aircraft as fast as politically feasible.

5. New Technologies

The Air Force has always had a certain inclination towards adopting the newest, shiniest technologies, and at the moment there are a number of interesting concepts that it is exploring. I'll talk about two of the most significant ones [especially combined] here.

First, the Air Force is seeking to create future aircraft entirely virtually--using highly detailed computer models to design numerous types of specialist aircraft, and only building prototypes to test the results that simulations produce. Their latest trainer, the "eT-7", uses this methodology--the "e" is supposed to designate that it was designed this way. There's also a move towards using common avionics and software for a variety of different aircraft. Figures high up at the Pentagon have discussed a "Digital Century Series", modeled after a chain of fighters rapidly developed in the 1950s for a number of different roles, from the F-102 interceptor to the F-105 fighter-bomber. This could potentially create numerous new aircraft rapidly; a shift back towards the times before the 1990s where a single fighter project took the entire attention and budget of the Air Force. Nobody is really sure how this will pan out but it looks quite promising. In particular, the fact that the USAF was able to take its new prototype fighter jet into the skies a year after it was originally envisioned is stunning--and suggests that this potential return to the old days of the 1940s and 1950s when new aircraft showed up every year is not just a pipe dream.

Second, the Air Force is investing in UCAVs [Unmanned Combat Aerial Vehicles], most notably in the Skyborg concept. The goal is to develop a low-cost drone that can both deliver additional weapons to target while being accompanied by a manned fighter--a sort of drone wingman, which is cheap enough to be expendable [thus serving a secondary purpose, soaking up enemy air to air missiles]. Numerous companies have been awarded contracts to develop UCAVs and this program is looking quite promising, so expect to hear more of it in the future.

6. Drones

Drones are a rather interesting topic and one that I'll most likely get into more detail in on my next two posts specifically regarding Turkey. The US was one of the pioneers of UAVs, with the other big player in the field being Israel--in fact the US has bought Israeli drones from time to time, though of course China and Russia have also established a presence, without even mentioning Turkey. The US has a number of drones for different purposes--largely for reconnaissance of different types and precision-strike capability. It has the RQ-4 Global Hawk, for reconnaissance, the MQ-9A Reaper, for strike missions, and the RQ-170, which.... well, probably something involving reconnaissance, it's half-CIA so who knows. However, the US may not have kept up on the ongoing drone revolution, which is actually something I can't really blame them for since the 'revolution' only started in January. Yes. Last January.

This 'revolution' began on January 5, 2020, to be exact, and was led by an unlikely candidate: Turkey. They say necessity is the mother of invention, and this was certainly the case for the Turkish drone program. After the US refused to sell Turkey drones on account of the fact that they might be used against Kurds [use of Turkish drones suggests they definitely are used against Kurds], Turkey decided to make their own drone program with blackjack and hookers--or, well, just drones. Their DIY effort didn't really garner much attention until sent to Libya,but investment in their program skyrocketed, largely for two reasons. First, Turkey has been largely barred from major hardware acquisitions from the US and, to an increasing extent, Europe. Second, Erdogan deeply distrusts the Turkish Air Force and has dramatically cut pilot numbers through his multiple purges of the service. Third, Turkey is competing out of its class, against Russia, the UAE, and other major regional powers.

Once it arrived in Libya, it suddenly became clear that the Turkish drone program was much more important than previously thought. In many ways it bore the primary responsibility for turning the war around from what looked to be almost certain defeat for the UN-recognized GNA into a state where whether or not Haftar could survive was in question. In particular, it came as a great shock to most how easily Turkey defeated the very systems that were designed to shoot down UAVs--the Russian Pantsir in particular, which has been destroyed in great quantities with few Turkish casualties to show for it--and with the sticker price for a Turkish drone less than half of the Pantsir systems they kill, it could well revolutionize warfare. Experiences in Syria, and now in Armenia, where Turkish drones have destroyed hundreds of main battle tanks and casually destroyed SAM systems from some distance above, continue to bring into question just how vast the drone revolution is going to be. I'll cover this in more explicit detail in my next two posts.

However, the USAF is watching and learning--its main difficulty with drones is more political than anything. Drones are often considered less important than manned aircraft by a leadership that largely flew manned aircraft [particularly fighters at that], and it is the bottom tier of officer recruits that fly drones [though, interestingly, some drones are actually flown by enlisted pilots] and even then there's usually a shortage of RPA pilots--that's why a few are flown by enlisted in the first place. Whether or not they'll take these lessons to heart, only time will tell, but the history of the Air Force leaves me relatively optimistic on the matter--more than many other services, it's willing to embrace change.

7. Nukes

The US Air Force runs two legs of the nuclear triad--the air and ground portions. The first is dominated by, believe it or not, gravity bombs--mostly the B61. This weapon has been sitting around in the United States [and Europe under nuclear sharing, in Belgium, the Netherlands, Italy, Germany, and Turkey] for a while now, the first variants being made in 1968, and has recently been updated to the latest B61-12 variant, which offers high precision [as precise as JDAMs, not that it's likely to matter in most situations where nukes are being dropped] and flexibility--the bomb can be deployed from low altitudes at high speeds, and from within the internal weapons bay of the F-22 and F-35 [not to mention the B-2 and future B-21], so it's not as dumb as it might sound. Air-launched weapons also have useful features like the ability to recall them once launched, which isn't an option for missiles, along with fitting into doctrine for a tactical nuclear war. While I could go on about the lack of air-launched nuclear cruise missiles [which hopefully will be fixed by the end of the Intermediate Forces Treaty] it's not a big deal.

The main concern here [and perhaps a suggestion that procurement is still messed up] is the ground-based deterrent, which currently consists of a few hundred Minuteman III missiles buried in the northern central United States. These missiles, like much of the Air Force, date to the 1970s and have outlasted their supposed replacement--the MX Peacekeeper. These missiles are finally approaching end of life and are to be replaced by a new ICBM system. This process is... problematic. First off, it was a sole-source bid because Northrop Grumman acquired Orbital ATK Systems, the primary American producer of solid-fuelled rockets and missiles, and this resulted in Boeing pulling out of the competition. Second, the cost seems rather high, at least in my view, with lifetime cost estimates of as much as $90 billion, with development alone amounting to $13 billion at sticker price. It positions the cost of rebuilding the ground-based deterrent as comparable to the US Navy's program to replace the Ohio-class submarines with the Columbias. The ground-based deterrent has also lost substantial importance as sea-launched and air-launched weapons have become much more accurate and capable of fulfilling the ground-based counterforce mission [which arguably died with Peacekeeper], and it remains the most vulnerable portion of the triad. What good it does is largely as another independent nuclear deterrent and one that soaks up enemy warheads in the event of nuclear war that could be directed towards other targets. A disastrous procurement here could cause problems for the Air Force you will see in the future. My suggestion would be either to continue modernizing the Minuteman IIIs or aim to replace them with the cheapest option possible--something like, for instance, a land-based Trident missile [as if the Air Force would ever allow such a thing to be built]. All the ground-based deterrent needs to do is be there, be a credible threat, and soak up enemy fire. That's it.

8. Space Force

The Space Force is now its own service branch, but as it really hasn't emerged yet I'll cover it here. In fact, just recently, the Space Force enlisted its first trainees. This is somewhat less in my area of expertise; but at the moment things look fairly promising. While the Space Force sounds silly it's almost certainly the part of the military you interact with the most in your daily life on account of running the GPS network. They also operate a variety of communications satellites and the system for monitoring ballistic missile launches, among other pieces of hardware. Expect to hear more about these guys in the future, as space becomes a potential battlefield--we've seen the deployment of a space-based anti-satellite weapon by the Russians just recently, and numerous powers now field anti-satellite missiles along with jamming equipment that can blind reconnaissance satellites, so space is becoming much more militarily important. I don't have much more to say about these guys at the moment, though, other than noting that they're already talking about being even "less physical" than the Air Force--translation: Less mandatory exercise--and they're teaching classes about space law, which is neat I guess. The main downside of the Space Force is that it's going to be very small, around 20-30,000 people, which is half what even the Coast Guard fields, and that could lead to problems with maintaining personnel and inefficiencies with redundant missions, procurement, and the like.

9. Conclusion

The USAF has problems; particularly with aging equipment and manpower, but it seems to realize that most of them exist and is moving to address them. Political constraints mean that the USAF is stuck supporting a variety of obsolete platforms and investing its large budget poorly in new ICBMs and poorly managed tankers, and procurement continues to be a struggle for the USAF, though nowhere near as bad as with the US Navy. Drones have the potential to revolutionize warfare and the USAF is working to develop capabilities in that area, albeit maybe not as fast as some other players in the field, and digital design promises more aircraft designed and produced faster--much, much faster. The USAF faces logistical challenges in a peer conflict, but nothing insurmountable--though the work there is likely to be painful and sidelined because it's less interesting than buying shiny new toys. The Space Force seems to be going along well though they could face some problems in the medium term from losing access to the USAF's resources--political, financial, and of personnel--until/unless they develop into a larger, more influential service. On the whole, though, the outlook for the USAF, at least, looks quite bright--a hope spot, along with the Army and Marines, that the serious problems of the Navy will not cripple the entire military capability of the United States.

10. Citations

Uh, I mostly embedded them in the post, and I don't want to go back and hunt for what I used after a month, but here are some good longer-form ones:
RAND, Chinese Attacks on Air Bases in Asia on the ballistic missile threat
Ryan Snyder, The Future of the ICBM Force: Should the Least Valuable Leg of the Triad Be Replaced?

RAND, Creating a Separate Space Force mostly focusing on administrative difficulties and personnel issues

RAND, Drone-Era Warfare Shows the Operatoinal Limits of Air Defense Systems on drones and the conflicts in Libya and Syria [yes, it's all RAND, no Brookings Institute or such this time round]. It also explains why air defense systems are perhaps much more vulnerable than commonly thought, which I didn't really get into here.

Washington Post, Air Force seeks a radical shift in how jets, missiles, and satellites are designed with more detail on the shift to more computerized design the US Air Force wants to make

CSIS, The Air Force Digital Century Series: Beyond the Buzzwords taking apart the "Digital Century Series" push
submitted by AmericanNewt8 to neoliberal [link] [comments]

2020.10.26 17:47 MentallyStableMan First Strike North America / NSG Tournament / Open Qualifier #1 / Day 1 / Live Discussion Thread

First Strike North America / NSG Tournament / Open Qualifier #1 / Day 1 / Live Discussion Thread

Tournament Information


Stream 1 Stream 2



Day 1 [October 26th, 2020]
Round of 128 - 2:00 PM to 5:00 PM PST
Round of 64 - 5:00 PM to 8:00 PM PST

Today's Matches [October 26th, 2020]

(only matches feature notable teams listed. check Battlefly Bracket for full list)
Round of 128 [2:00 PM PST] [4:00 PM CST]
Sentinels 2-0 Orange Borange
the boomzers (sgares and co.) 2-0 steven edge le
Gen.G 2-0 Fortplayers/1Cs
Immortals 2-0 PDF
Envy 2-0 Hello Kity
Complexity 2-0 SAKS
NRG 2-0 Team Thrifty
T1 2-0 The Boys
Orgles5 2-0 Roosters
Luminosity 2-0 Team HH
Andbox 2-0 Kinda Asian
Time IN 2-0 O Team
Renegades 2-0 Simps For Hunrah
Rise 1-1 ALPHAUP
Dignitas 2-0 Team Fight
beastcoast 2-0 Mish Mash Gaming
100T 2-0 HotThots
Moon Raccoons 2-0 Lemon Dealers
Cloud9 Blue 2-0 SHORTYKINGS
FaZe Clan 2-0 Unlucky
Cloud9 White 2-0 Penn State University
Mamba Mode Gaming 2-0 Five Stooges
Round of 64
Sentinels 2-1 Sakura Storm
Gen.G 2-0 Dog Team Club Org
Immortals 2-0 Team GT
Team Envy 2-0 Sovereign
Complexity 1-0 Team Shut it
NRG 2-1 Kudos
T1 2-0 Most Prolific
Luminosity 2-0 PROJECTX
Andbox 2-0 Pyronic
TSM 2-0 Take Flyte
Time IN 1-1 Noble
Renegades 2-1
Dignitas 2-0 Premier Esports
beastcoast 0-1 Team 2D
100 Thieves 1-0 Last Round Save
Moon Raccoon 1-0 Elysium
Cloud9 Blue 1-0 Exotic
FaZe Clan 1-0 flow state
Equinox Esports 2-0 Warlords
Cloud9 White 2-0 Hollywoods Hooliganz


Place Seed Team
1st NSG Tournament
2nd NSG Tournament
3rd NSG Tournament
4th NSG Tournament
Check Liquipedia for list of standings
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2020.10.26 13:17 asianbride_me 5 reasons to try online dating

5 reasons to try online dating
5 reasons to try online dating:
💘 It gives you opportunity to find your perfect match
💘 It’s much easier to communicate with anybody online, which makes it perfect for introverts
💘 You don’t have any responsibilities
💘 It’s completely safe
💘 You have never tried it, so why not give it a chance?
Do you think that online dating is your thing? Would you give it a shot? Let us know in the comments below! And don’t forget to like and subscribe!🥰
❣️ Meet stunning Asian girls through
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submitted by asianbride_me to u/asianbride_me [link] [comments]

2020.10.26 03:49 goodvibesonlypls 25 [M4F] East Coast, USA -Funny, down to earth guy looking for the same in a woman!

So I’ve posted a few times and my goal has always been to just to be part of those success stories you see every now and then on here and find someone you can be entirely yourself around. I thought I came close once but she turned out to magically have a boyfriend when it came down to taking things seriously 🙃😅
So if you have a boyfriend or happen to be someone who leads people on or ghost often, this post is not for you 😂
Basically, I’m looking for “my person.” Very basic statement but it’s true! I’m looking for someone that I can confide in about life, be vulnerable with, laugh with, and ultimately be myself with. Looking for someone who is looking for the same thing and can be themselves around me.
Random things about me:
Looks: average-mediocre face, I average one, non-spam match per month on dating apps lmao, thin but going to the gym everyday to maybe change that 😂, 5’7”
Love language according to a free quiz online 😅: words of affirmation and physical touch
Media I consume: sports here and there, anime, Schitts creek!!, podcasts, really good movies when they come out, a lot of random shit so open to suggestions! Mostly lean toward comedies
Job: healthcare
Future plans: grad/med school
Race/ethnicity: South Asian (open to anyone and everyone but would like someone who’s open to different cultures)
Favorite foods: Thai and PIZZA even though I’m slightly lactose intolerant 😂😅
What I tend to be attracted to but not limited to: girls that are independent, strong, active, and take care of themselves, employed or educated and have dreams, meme sharers, sense of humor, being able to roast and be roasted 😂, nice mask wearers that care about other people, anti racists, no trump supporters sorry 😅, ages 22-28, USA only because LDRs turn into platonic pen pals fast 😂😂
Would like to exchange pics somewhat early on so we don’t fool ourselves. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea so don’t wanna drag anything if you’re not into me 😂
submitted by goodvibesonlypls to r4r [link] [comments]

2020.10.25 23:17 TheNamelessComposer Are Latinas more open to dating Asian men?

I remember an okc study that suggested Latina/Hispanic women in the US anyway are a bit more open/receptive to dating Asian men than white women (though most Latinas have some European ancestry anyway). It wouldn't surprise me as there are cultural and indeed physical similarities (at least the more indigenous ones).
I tried tinder in Ecuador and was amazed at how many matches I was getting. Many factors there, but sadly I wasn't there long enough to meet anyone.
At the risk of fetishising always had a thing for Hispanic women. On average I find them and Southern Europeans more attractive than the Northern European look. There are more here in Australia now but I don't know how many of them are into Asians.
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2020.10.25 22:12 Awkward_Conflict Dating Foreign Women

I live in Manchester and for some reason I tend to match with more attractive non european women?
Perhaps they are more open to a less macho look and me being smaller is less of an issue when dating latin or asian women.
I do wonder are they partly wanting to be with me because of a visa?
Also there would be potentially greater cultural divides with their family.
What do you guys think?
submitted by Awkward_Conflict to dating [link] [comments]

2020.10.25 05:07 azninvasion99 Help/Advice/Vent

Hello everyone,
I normally am not one to throw my feelings out on the internet at random but here goes. As the title says, I just need some advice and a place to vent about some long term frustrations I've had with dating. Couple of things about me; I just turned 29 years old, I'm half Asian and I am admittedly overweight, about 300 lbs at 6'1". I have also been single for about 8 years now and have been fruitlessly been trying dating apps for a long time. And I know that my weight is probably a barrier to most which I understand, I recently signed up for a personal trainer to help out with that.
Probably my biggest frustration is that a lot of women that I meet in person, mainly through work or through mutual acquaintances always speak to how I am such a nice guy, and that any girl would be lucky to have me. They say that I am smart, funny, etc etc. However, whenever I ask one of these women out, I always get the same type of rejections. It is normally a variation of "Oh, you aren't my type" or "I just don't see you in that way." And like I mentioned I get the weight is a barrier but at what point does me being who I am override that?
As I have noticed on here, a lot of people agree that most dating apps are for people just looking for a night's fun. But I have also attempted to try some of the more "serious" apps like Match or eHarmony and I still have the same luck. I try to let my personality shine in my profile, as well as my interests, and always try to send meaningful first messages to others, instead of all the one word messages that women complain of receiving.
So I was wondering if anyone else has similar types of experiences and/or advice they could give me?
submitted by azninvasion99 to dating [link] [comments]

2020.10.24 16:00 Angel466 [Bob the hobo] A Celestial Wars Spin-Off Part 0200

I’d never been to a live concert before, and I think going to Clefton’s has spoiled me for every other concert out there. I could really see why people went insane for him and his music. There wasn’t a genre of music he didn’t at least touch on, and four and a half hours in, he didn’t look like he was ever going to slow down, let alone stop. He kept everyone going, leaving us just enough time to catch our breaths before taking us on another ride.
He wasn’t even breaking into a sweat, though since I knew why that was, it was the only thing I wouldn’t give him bonus points for. How he made a cohesive unit out of all those music genres I’ll never know, but it worked. He had steel guitars right beside steel drums and other traditional instruments from all over the world. A few I’d never even seen before, and as they belted out their weird tunes that blended seamlessly, I found myself wondering if a museum somewhere was missing some of their displays. He even used seedpod rattles that would’ve been more at home in an undiscovered jungle tribe somewhere. If I wasn’t there for the concert itself, the education I was getting in musical sounds was mind-blowing.
With less than an hour to go, I suddenly had a thought. A stupid, dumb thought, but one I just couldn’t let go of once it came to me. Clefton had a presence about him that made us all feel he was singing to us directly, but what if…
Glancing at Gerry, I stretched out my leg and pulled out my phone. Flashes were coming from everywhere (not to mention the light show on the stage itself), so no one was going to notice me powering up my phone. I slipped it between my thighs with the top half poking over my legs and turned on the flashlight, pointing it towards the side of my seat.
I was probably completely wasting my time, but I had nothing to lose by trying. Gerry would lose her mind if this worked. The stage was on its way back to us and she was already surging to her feet once more. Clefton had this wave effect going in time with his spinning stage because not everyone could yell and scream and dance for hours without stopping.
As Clefton came back to us, I was the only one not standing at the front row, which I hoped would be enough to gain a moment of his attention. Cupping my hands one on top of the other against my left side as if I had a stitch, I made sure my right hand was covered by my left as I triggered my ring into its full crest. Then I crept both hands forward so that my left still shielded my right from everyone but those on stage.
Clefton was the only one at the front of the stage, which meant he was the only one who may or may not see my ring glinting in the light of my phone. This time around, he was wearing a broad-brimmed cowboy hat and boots with his thumbs hooked into his belt as he danced, which made him appear even more down to earth with his jeans and shirt.
The heavy beat of the previous song was still present, but now the backup dancers behind him were boot-scooting. I had worked out he had three different sets of background dancers, switching out to give them enough time to change. The backup singers were also switched out, but I think that was only to give them a rest. Singing backup for someone like Clefton had to be hell on the vocal cords.
I saw his eyes drop to my face as the stage swung towards us, and with a shy smile, I wriggled my right hand under my left, hoping the different cuts of the crest would catch the light.
He saw something. His eyes widened, his mouth twitched, and for the briefest moment, he lost the beat. I quickly reverted the ring to normal and shook my head, again hoping he would somehow get what I wasn’t saying.
That momentary reaction was the only one I got as he skipped out onto the star points, moving further into the crowd. On a low, deep beat, he faced our section and gave a sideways shimmy-shuffle that brought him back to the main stage. He met my eyes once more, and I deliberately shifted my gaze to Gerry and mouthed ‘birthday’, not knowing if he would care but willing to give it the old college try.
The show went on and the stage continued to turn away from us. I don’t know what I was expecting, and it was stupid of me to expect anything really. He had a full house of paying customers to entertain and finding a new member of the family probably wasn’t as exciting to those already inside the family as it was to those of us who were suddenly catapulted in from the outside.
Not that I was super comfortable with having that last name, but I thought it was worth seeing if maybe he might be willing to do something special for my girl. On the huge overhead screens, I saw him slip between the members of the band, holding his hand over his beige mic to say something quickly to each of them that wouldn’t be heard by the crowd. I turned my phone’s flashlight off and slipped it back into my pocket. It had been worth a try.
As the stage was completely facing away from us, the music paused and Clefton wiped his brow with his wrist; the first time that night. It was literally the first break he’d taken all night. The music continued to play in the background, but not at its usual intense pace.
He began to address the audience, telling them about the craziness that was his life. How it was a whirlwind that he wouldn’t trade for the world. “No, siree. Definitely not complaining at all. But … you know … there comes a time when you have to slow down and remember the little things are just as important. Wave your lights if you’re here with someone special!”
At least half the arena’s phone lighting waved back and forth, ours included.
“See, that’s what I’m talking about. After tonight, this concert is going to be a memory, but God willing, the people that mean the most to you will be with you for a long time to come. But just in case your God has other plans, it’s important to make time for what’s truly important.”
The stage started to swing back towards us, but he stepped off the rotating part and walked the ring that linked the star spikes. He stopped right in front of us and sat down, crossing his legs and focusing all of his attention on Gerry, just like I’d hoped he would. “A little birdy told me it’s your birthday, honey,” he said, oozing the charm that he was so famous for.
Gerry was frozen in her seat with shock, her hand gripping my knee as if I was the only thing keeping her conscious. “So, here’s my birthday gift to you, sweet pea.”
I blinked in surprise. That was what Robbie called the ladies too, and before that, I’d never heard anyone use the term.
Clefton then broke into a solo of ‘Happy Birthday’ that somehow managed to voice both instruments and the song in a cappella style that had the audience spellbound for almost a minute. Then he leaned forward and curled his finger beckoningly at her.
Gerry rose to unsteady feet and went to the edge of the stage, where Clefton leaned forward, kissed her forehead and dropped his cowboy hat onto her head. “Happy birthday, sweet pea.”
My grin was huge as Geraldine stumbled backwards into my arms. I looked up at Clefton and nodded my appreciation. It was just a minute of his time, but it meant everything to Geraldine and me. He nodded to both of us and sprang back onto his feet, and within seconds the concert was back in full swing. One of the cameras stayed on us as Gerry crawled into my lap and took off the hat, cuddling it against her chest as if it was a newborn child. I stroked her hair and pressed my head to hers, and at that moment, I no longer cared about the concert.
At the stroke of midnight, the overhead screens revealed a giant clock face with its hands over the twelve, chiming with the heavy dongs of Big Ben. The music stopped dead and the screens split into two, showing Clefton looking up at the chiming images with a sigh of defeat.
Everyone booed as they realised what it symbolised.
After five and a half hours of the greatest party atmosphere ever, the ball had come to an end.
But then Clefton looked down at the crowd and grinned. “I think we can squeeze in a couple more before we all turn into pumpkins, don’t you?”
The boos turned into roars of delight and the music started up once more. Everyone (including Gerry and me) were on our feet once more, enjoying the last few songs. I barely noticed the double line of security guards that filed out from the alcoves in the corners of the star prongs, indicating that the step down to where the guards had been was also an access point to under the stage. Clefton was brilliant. He kept the crowd so busy I doubted if anyone noticed their arrival. The only reason I did, was because I recognised Nick standing right in front of me. He had the same granite look that he’d had outside, but somehow it felt as if he were looking straight through me.
On the fourth encore, my grip on Gerry’s elbow tightened. People were already starting to surge forward. “Angel, we need to go. I’ve seen how these events end, and we’ll be crushed.”
“Come with me,” Nick said, stepping forward out of the line. The gap was quickly absorbed by the other security guards, but his focus shifted between Gerry and me, and the crowd behind us. “This way,” he said, beckoning us to precede him.
“But it’s not over yet,” Gerry pouted.
“C’mon, Angel. We can watch from the back without being caught up in the stampede.”
“Let’s go,” Nick barked, the whip-like command squashing any argument Gerry had. Herding us ahead of him, he moved us down to the corner of the star, where the security guards parted upon our approach.
The alcove was painted black, as were the stairs that he led us down. The guards snapped back into position, and in a very weird way, it reminded me of the old fable of the parting of the seas, and how they came back together afterwards. Dressed in all black, they honestly looked like non-entities on the move.
“Watch the three stairs,” our guide from the rear said, just as Gerry’s right leg found no solid ground and she fell forward. Both Nick and I caught her together: Nick by a fistful of black leather at her back. He released her as soon as he was sure I had her.
I held my hand out to support Gerry and together we went down the three nearly invisible steps. “Follow the hallway,” Nick said from behind us. I felt a large hand take my left hand by the wrist, lifting it to a wall I couldn’t see. “It’s an S-bend. You’ll see light after the first turn.”
I had to take Nick’s word for that because I couldn’t see shit right now. But I could feel Gerry’s heart pounding against my arm as she clung to me, her head twisting in all directions.
“I’m here, angel,” I said, feeling my way along the wall. As Nick promised, the wall curved into a sharp bend, almost like a doorway that fed back onto itself. There was still no light in this second portion either, but at the far end, I saw a faint glow from around another corner that reminded me of a distant nightlight. I looked back at Nick, who stood probably half a foot shorter than Boyd, but fifty times more intimidating in the shadows.
“Keep going, kids,” he said, jerking his chin towards the next turn. “Just follow the light.”
“But I don’t believe in Heaven,” I said with a light snicker. Why I chose that moment to be funny with myself, I’ll never know. Gerry certainly didn’t appreciate it, but Nick snorted.
“Funny man,” he said, giving the back of my head a light shove.
Since he’d said something other than bark orders, I decided to try once more to break the ice. “Where are you taking us, Nick?” I could hear yet another encore start up over our heads, but as we made the second turn, the light source was a single bulb over the far doorway.
“How do you know my name?” he asked instead.
“See? I told you, Sam,” Gerry squeaked, gripping my arm. “Not everyone likes it when you use their names.”
I still felt differently, and probably always would. “The lady that met us with the headset at the beginning of the concert. She called you by name when she asked you to move the first time.”
“Oh. Well, that’s okay then.”
Nick then moved past us and led the way through the underground corridors that looked like they were part of the original structure. “I appreciate you showing us how to avoid the crowds,” I said, wanting to fill the void with something.
“That wasn’t my call, Sam,” he said, proving he could name drop as well. And, as if to undermine me (I know it wasn’t intentional, circumstances just played things this way) the very next corridor he led us into was packed with people. “Make a hole, people,” Nick barked, and singers, dancers and staff alike suddenly pressed to either side of the hallway, watching us curiously.
Under so much unexpected scrutiny, I suddenly got a sinking feeling about all of this. “Nick, you are taking us out to the parking lot, aren’t you?” I asked.
“Didn’t promise that,” he said, opening a door that led to a large room with stretch lounges and a bar wall. At one end of the room was an Asian guy with jet-black hair and beady, narrow eyes. He was scrolling through something on his oversized tablet but stopped to look up.
“Sam! That’s Riku Nascerdios!” Gerry whispered excitedly. “Clefton’s twin brother!”
Wow? Those two are twins? Unlike Clefton, this guy had strong Asian features, and he definitely didn’t seem happy to see us. “What the fuck, Nick?!” he roared, in very clear English.
Nick closed the door behind him, sealing us all in the room together. “Want to try that again, cuz, while you still have teeth?” he warned ominously.
Wait … Nick is calling Clefton’s twin brother ‘cousin’?
I whirled to take a better look at Nick, specifically his right hand for something I hadn’t noticed if he was wearing before, but Nick was twisted with his left shoulder forward; his right hand hidden from view. His granite carved face now looked positively lethal.
Riku raised a hand in apology. But then he looked at Gerry. “Wait! You! You’re the reason Clefton went off script in the final quarter!”
I don’t know what came over me, but I took a half step forward and tucked Gerry in behind my shoulder, holding one arm out to keep her there. “No one asked him to,” I said, my own tone matching Nick’s. This guy was being a first-class jerk and I didn’t like the way he was talking to my girl while she was so star-struck.
“Careful, Riku. You’re about to get your face rearranged by a fan’s protective boyfriend,” Nick said with a smirk.
“I could care less about him,” Riku sniffed dismissively. He then walked forward and attempted to insert himself between me and Gerry, only Nick and I wouldn’t let him. When he came close enough, I held Gerry close while Nick reached past me and pushed Riku back two paces.
“Back off, Riku.”
The pair glared at each other, but then Riku snorted and lowered his icy glare to Gerry. “You. Girl. Who are you to disrupt an entire concert like that?”
“I-I didn’t mean to. I’m Geraldine Portsmith.”
“It’s been fun people, but as my dad used to say, ‘You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here!’ Adios!” I heard Clefton’s voice reverberate through the floor, along with the cheering roar of the crowd.
“That means he’s leaving the stage for good,” Geraldine hissed, her excitement mounting as she gripped my arm and shivered.
Riku was tapping wildly on his tablet. “From Portsmith Electronics?” he asked, ignoring her excitement completely.
Geraldine nodded, her smile growing even wider. “My dad is Tucker Portsmith.”
“That still doesn’t explain our interest in you. Or Clefton’s.” Riku looked across to Nick. “Do you have any idea what’s so special about them?”
Cheering came from outside the door, and seconds later, the man himself walked into the room with a hand towel over one shoulder and an open water bottle in his hand.
“Ahhh, sweet!” Clefton said, taking another mouthful of water before screwing on the lid and tossing the bottle at his twin. Riku juggled it along with his precious tablet, managing to finally capture both safely. “I was hoping you’d grab them before they slipped away.” He slapped Nick in the arm with the back of his hand. “Thanks, cuz.”
Since Clefton had been facing the other way when Nick whisked us under the stage, I wasn’t surprised that he didn’t know for sure what had happened to us. He gestured at the couch behind us. “Take a load off, sweet pea. You look as if you’re about to fall over.”
I helped Geraldine back to the couch, feeling like I needed to sit down too, but for an entirely different reason. Surrounded by Nascerdios as I was, this could go either way and I was no longer in the driver’s seat.
“Sooo,” Clefton drawled, squatting down in front of Geraldine as I slid into the seat beside her. He gave every intention of addressing her … right up until his eyes slid across to me. “What’s your story, slick?”
I looked at all three of them, opening and closing my mouth like a goldfish. Maybe this hadn’t been one of my brightest ideas.
“Why don’t you start with your full name, Sam?” Nick suggested, lowering his arms to his sides so as to not appear so intimidating.
“Umm … I’m … Sam.” I swallowed. “Sam Wilcott.”
Clefton offered me his million-dollar smile as he held out his hand to me. “Well, Sam-Sam Wilcott. I guess it’s a pleasure to finally meet you…” —as I slid my hand into his, his gaze sharpened— “…and you’ve got a fuck-tonne of explaining to do, pally-O. So start singing.”
“Sam?” Geraldine asked, looking across at me as Clefton released my hand.
“Holy shit!” Nick grabbed my hand by the wrist and held it up for Riku to see.
Panicked that he would activate it right in front of Geraldine, I reefed it out of his grip and tucked that hand in between myself and Gerry. “Dude!” I snapped, scowling up at him. “Boundaries!”
“And that takes away any chance of this being a mistake,” Nick added, his hands now on his hips. “He pulled out of my grip on his own.”
“Got him,” Riku said, from further back in the room. He was looking at his tablet. “Only one Caucasian Sam Wilcott between the ages of eighteen and twenty-six on record. Samuel Alexander Wilcott. Born March 27, ninety-six. Mother is Ivy Wilcott. Father is …” he paused, then looked up at me. “Llyr Arnav.”
“That’s not exactly helpful,” Clefton said.
“Oh, yes, it is,” Riku countered. “Especially once I put Arnav through an online translator and it came up as the Sanskrit word for…” he paused for effect, but I could already guess what was coming, given my family’s ties to the open water. “Ocean.”
“That cagey bastard went and had another fucking kid…”
“And tried to hide him from us.”
“Tried nothing! Look at him! The prick succeeded!” Nick went to poke me as he spoke, but I batted his hand away, holding one finger up in warning the way Boyd did.
“Don’t touch me, man. I mean it.”
“It says here he’s…”
“Thanks, Riku, but we can take it from here,” Clefton said, and to prove that he rose to his feet and went to Riku’s desk at the back of the room. From there, he took the wheeled office chair in both hands, hoisted it over his head and carried it back to us. Then, positioning it to face both Gerry and I (so as not to exclude her), he dropped his weight into it and then crossed his legs to rest his knees on the chair arms like a giant kid with too much energy. No one would ever suspect from looking at him now that he’d just finished a mammoth five and a half hour, full-on concert.
Nick took up a position to my right between the two chairs, and it wasn’t hard to notice that he was deliberately keeping himself between me and the door. Now that I’d outed myself, I wasn’t disappearing into the woodwork again, no matter how much I wanted to.
Clefton leaned forward, his eyes sparkling with curiosity. “So, Sam-Sam Wilcott, adult son of Llyr who we know nothing about.” With his elbows pressed into his calves, he clapped his hands together and interlocked his fingers, resting his chin on the bridge they created as if he intended to hang from my every word. Much as I had just done for him during the last five and a half hours of his concert. “Where have you been your whole life?”
Looking at all three of them in turn, I didn’t think they were going to settle for the CliffsNotes.
* * *


Previous Part 199
((All comments welcome))
I made a family tree/diagram of the Mystallian family that can be found here
For more of my work including previous parts or WPs: Angel466 or indexed here
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2020.10.24 12:49 AlB4564 26[M4F] Middle East/Anywhere- looking for something pure and sweet

Hello everyone I've been here before. Tried to write an awesome post. Got a few replies. Made a few friends. Dropped the best memes. Sent the best jokes. Things didn't go anywhere. Disappointed. Gave up. Deleted my account. Gave online dating a try again. Nada. Gave that up too. Sigh.
Well life got so much lonely and so here i am trying again. All fresh. Got a cup of tea. Writing with the last brain cell i have before i fall asleep for work tomorrow. Ok so the basics.
-25 m brown guy south asian guy living in middle east
-6'2" Tall or 188 cm
-slim to average build. With a tummy now. Thank u quarantine (working on getting fit again but mmmm burgers)
-funny, quirky and clumsy (i have a collection of dad jokes, memes, dankest memes, dark humor)
-suppppppper romantic, disney movies and romantic movies spoiled me. Does that shit even happen in real life? Everyone here just wanna party, go to clubs and have fun. I feel like an 80 year old who doesn't like that stuff, stay home watch the tv and sip on tea.
Ok a few disclaimers. First.. you can be anywhere. I live on a small island. And 95% sure you haven't even heard of it. I freaking ran out of people here to match with let alone childfree people. So I'm open to anywhere.
Second. I'm open to all religions as long as you don't shove it down my throat.
Third. If you're thinking of messaging me and then ghosting me then just save us both the headache and don't
Fourth (i know what you're thinking.. like this guy keeps on going please staahp..)
please send a picture of you. I understand some people are into privacy. But i believe physical attraction is very important. I'm attaching my pictures and freaking hoping no one who knows me in real life sees it lol.
Finally my pictures.
(My pictures are mostly selfies. Cause I live alone cries the rest are taken once in a while so they might be older when i used to be hot (joke) )
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2020.10.24 07:05 targetXING I’ve been out of the game so long, I don’t even know what I want anymore

I’m 28m with a six figure job and lots of leisure time. Life is good. In high school, counselors told me I would probably not be able to get scholarships because of my grades. I started my journey of proving them wrong. I got straight As in senior year and went on to get a BS and MS. I’ve been work for 3 years now and in all that time, no gf.
The prospect of getting shut down by females several times and trying to outshine other males is not appetizing to me. I can’t figure out how to view dating as healthy competition. Or what is a healthy mentality to have in my situation?
I hate online dating too, I can’t be bothered to waste my time swiping left and hoping (hoping is actually what wastes my time the most). I’m okay looking but out of shape at the moment. Unfortunately, I’m ethnically challenged (my race doesn’t exactly match my culture) I’m a mixed race Latin and Asian Indian.
If you perceive me to be some kind of loser that hasn’t put enough effort, you’re not wrong. I just would prefer if you didn’t comment because that’s not really what my question is.
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2020.10.24 03:10 IndependentNo1089 23 [M4F] UK/England looking here for the "unachievable true love" as i haven't had much luck with dating sites recently plus they charge way too much

Hello Everyone
I’m not giving up anytime soon to find a partner and would like someone similar to me mainly with the things at the top of the about me list
I would like to find a romantic partner that would also my best friend
About Me:
• My height is 180cm and I’m 65kg (I know I like using the metric system)
• I’m white guy and I have a lean build and I’ve been told a some people I’m good looking
• My hair color is brown and my eyes are green and I’m also Asian although you would not know if you saw my photo and you didn’t see my name
• My hairstyle changes quite a lot if you see my photos depending on what part of the year it is sometimes short its cut short other times I grow it long and curly and I have a thin beard
• I’m currently a virgin. I have dated women before but it did not lead to anything meaningful and I’m saving it for a similar person. Btw I have not even been kissed yet and I would certainly prefer someone similar in that regard
• I’m a night owl and go to sleep past midnight but not too far past midnight
• I’m introverted but also a great listener and very open and caring once I get to know you
• I don’t smoke, Drink or do drugs and no tattoos also I’m not religious in any way (agnostic)
• I'm currently 23 and a half and would prefer someone younger
• I live in London now but have my own place outside London don't want to move in alone as it will be too isolating especially now
• Political View? I guess you could say I’m centrist but it doesn’t really matter as not one politician keeps their promises there lol
• Omnivore here sorry I can’t give up meat or any animal products they’re too tasty and I’d probably be as thin as a stick if I did
My Hobbies:
• I have a pretty decent gamers PC and will soon be making it better as soon as I can get my hands on one of those new RTX cards
• I also have all the latest Nintendo consoles including the latest switch although I don’t really have anyone to play with now (brothers, sisters much older and not interested)
• I have games of the major Nintendo series (Mario, Zelda, Pikmin, Smash and a few others)
• I like: strategy, hack slash action adventure and platform/puzzle games
• I also like travelling to place with beautiful scenery like Iceland and Egypt (I have some really nice photos if you would like to see)
• I can cook and bake quite well btw
• I like feeding birds and squirrels outside IDK why I just like seeing them have a feeding frenzy with the leftover food. I haven’t got any pets but wouldn’t mind them
• Movies I like: quite a lot you’ll have to take a look at my collection (don’t worry it’s not that big) but I mainly like most popular sci-fi, action, adventure, comedy e.g. MCU,SW,DCEU and similar and I also like some anime shows
• Examples of TV shows I like: Dr Who (This used to be good and it went downhill like a lot of other things), Poldark, The Mandalorian and The Cube (the more money at stake in game shows the more interesting)
• I do sometimes wear glasses thinking about doing laser so I won’t need to anymore
If you managed to read all that congratulations and if you think we are a suitable match please message me to do a photo exchange
I only can meet up with people from UK and.... maybe some EU countries if the match is really good
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2020.10.23 15:21 JcFuerza NEW SURVIVAL GAME - 331 Tips and Tricks for Frostborn - New on Android

Tl;dr 1 - Frostborn just released globally! it is an awesome multiplayer survival game based on Norse mythology. I have followed it for over a year and it has finally released. It has fun co-op challenges and good PVP. Classes in the game are really grindy, but other than that, the game is amazing.
Tl;dr 2 - I have made a concise high quality video that has even more info
But for those of you who don't like videos, here is my video script:
After six months of a secret beta testing and then a year of closed beta, Kefir has finally released Frostborn to the world on Android and IOS is coming soon! Frostborn is a true multiplayer game with dynamic skills for each of the 15 classes you can specialize in, an intriguing storyline based on Norse mythology, difficult co-op challenges and epic PvP. Frostborn can be challenging if you don’t know what you are doing so in this video I have 331 tips and tricks for you.
When you first start the game, you will be prompted to choose between warrior, bowman and curer. This is not a permanent choice as you will be able to switch between these classes anytime you want so I recommend choosing the bowman because the bow it gives you is the best weapon out of the 3 for protecting your base at a low level. You will also be able to change your appearance later on, but if you want to change your name later on, it will cost you coins so choose wisely.
After you hit confirm, talk to the elder of the town and then to the Warcheif who will make you choose a land to gather resources in. The Viking Lands is currently the only option in the game so choose that one, and then make your way out of the town to head to your camp.
When you arrive at your camp, the game begins. Your task is to build up an awesome house that can contain the amazing wealth you will get in the game. This house can get raided by other players, but if you follow the steps that I have in this video, you will have nothing to worry about and you will grow extremely powerful and wealthy in this game.
Your first step to getting there is to follow the tasks on the top left part of your screen. Some advanced players might ignore this part because they know what they are doing, but they will regret it because these tasks unlock valuable rewards and if you do them out of order, the game will force you to repeat them to get credit for the task which is extremely annoying. After you finish the first 3 acts, the tasks slow down and it is easier to just start playing the game.
During those 3 acts, you will start to notice that advancing in this game involves 3 main things. Upgrading your district, building up your camp, and upgrading classes.
As you level up your district to the maximum level of 190, you will access new perks to playing the game. Every time your Craftsman is upgraded, you get access to new blueprints with the last set of blueprints unlocked at lvl 111. Every time your bank is upgraded, you get more storage slots to keep items here which are unraidable. The architect allows you to build more chests and doors. The Shaman increases your chance to find rare items. The tax collector gives you a daily supply of silver. The tavern owner gives you a daily quest for silver. The trader allows you to spend that silver on a selection of items, but I don’t recommend this in most situations because silver is a rarer resource for f2p players. The scout lets you spend silver to unlock a new event which gives influence points if you defeat waves of enemies. When you are doing this event, I recommend bringing minimal gear because you will not get a break until it is over and it is hard to grab the items you dropped. Or by watching some of my gameplay videos so that you can see exactly what you need to complete each wave. In regards to the Scout, it is important to note that you can do any wave at any level if you exit your district and enter the popular District, but it does cost twice as much silver to do so. In the popular District, you will also notice a repair bench in which you can spend silver to repair your best items. Now eventually, we will be able to build one of these repair benches in our own districts which will not cost us any silver to use, but that does not happen until District level 183, so it is best to get used to spending the silver for the time being. In the popular District, you will also notice the altar to Odin which I will be talking about later and a statue. Once a day, you can activate the statue to get access to a yellow zone that is not a PVP Zone. This means that once a day, you can loot a tomb and kill it’s boss without the concern of being ganked by other players. And then lastly the horse vendor and dock master are just for show right now as they represent content that is currently not in the game.
So that is an overview of upgrading your District in New Heim. The rest of this video was recorded 3 months ago, but global was postponed so I didn't released it because I wanted to make sure it was up to date. I have gone through it and everything is now up to date, but I have switched microphones since then so sometimes the audio is a little weird.
The second and a bigger area of progression, is upgrading your camp which is most often referred to by players as your base.
As you start to build your base, there are five things you need to keep in mind.
First, you need to decide whether or not you are going to play this game with a team. Frostborn is designed to be a four player game and while it is possible to succeed at this game by yourself, it is a lot more fun with teammates even if they're not the best teammates. If you do not have friends that want to play with you, I recommend clicking settings and joining Frostborn’s official Discord. I have also put a link in the pinned comment of this video. That is going to be the best place to find teammates. Once you find your three teammates, you can click on this icon to invite them into your family. If you do not see that person, it is probably because they are in a different server so go to settings and make sure that y'all are all on the same server. If you play on a server that is outside of your region, you will experience more lag, but this is worse for some than others. For example, I do not experience that much lag when I play on the European or Asian servers even though I live in North America. Now it is important to note that a family is not like a clan in other games. Your family functions more like a squad would in Pubg so you do not want to invite someone who is barely ever going to play the game, and ideally you want people you can trust with everything you have, but I’ll talk more about that later. The reason this is important to decide now is because once they join your family, your bases will be put in juxtaposition and you can connect your walls with your family members to build a larger and more powerful base.
The second thing you need to keep it in mind about building your base is where to put your doors. A well-placed door is the most powerful tool you can have in defending your base so the devs have limited them to only 20 per player. When placing these 20 doors, you need to factor in defense, workflow, and the position of your teammates walls and doors.
The third thing to note is that this trapdoor takes you to your vault which includes 25 slots that no one will ever be able to raid so make sure to put your best items in this vault. Excluding of course the ones you were going to use to defend your base.
Stuff placed in your workbenches are also safe from being raided, but stuff in your boxes are not unless you follow the tips later in this video. Also, You can control whether or not your teammates have access to your workbenches or boxes with this button.
The fourth thing to keep in mind is that you cannot plant trees so if you want to implement trees into your house design, then you need to make sure not to cut down the ones that start out on your land.
And then the last thing to keep in mind that your base will not be raided in the first 48 hours of starting the game so you have some time to prepare. It will also not be raided if you are below level 10, but if you follow the tips in this video, you will hit level 10 within the first two hours of playing the game.
Obviously, I have a lot more tips on this subject so if that interests you, make sure to check out my playlist on designing and protecting your base.
As you visit the zones available to you, more of the world map will unlock. Once it is fully unlocked, it will look something like this.
When you are first starting out, you will want to spend the majority of your time in the green zones. The green zones provide wood, stone, cloth, rope, fiber, seeds, and all of the iron that you will need when you are just starting off. The chests of the green zone also have some great items and will even on rare occasion have some weapons in them so it is good to check them, but a lot of people scavenge for chests, so sometimes it is hard to get to them first. But that is okay because the main purpose of farming the green zone is to get rich in its main resources and then using your low-level workbenches to turn those resources into building materials, clothing, food, medicine and weapons. The best weapon to use in the green zone is the spear and the best class to use at first is the curer because it will give you more sustainability, but once you hit level 30, the best class to use is the sorcerer which allows you to 1-Shot most enemies with a spear's sneak attack. Getting a sneak attack is achieved by pressing this button to sneak and then attacking an enemy from behind. This will cause you to do 300% of the decimaled damage rounded up. I'll explain more how that works in another video.
If you finish farming all of the resources of a zone and you still have room in your backpack, just leave and then re-enter the zone. As long as the chests were empty and everyone else also left the zone, the zone will be reset including a new group of random people. This will allow you to farm a lot more resources and save you a ton of energy. Generally the green zone is a relaxing place to farm, but every once in a while you will find people that try to rally a bunch of enemies over to kill you. This is annoying, but as long as you keep your health high, you will never die to this because you can simply run to the edge of the zone for immediate safety. After you do this once or twice and they realize they're wasting their time, they are unlikely to do it again.
If you are farming with your teammates, I recommend going over to one of the chests when no one else is around, and stacking all of your less common items so that you have more room to gather resources as a team. Also, if you have one teammate who is willing to buy a the level 2 backpack for a buck50 at the Carnage event, then you can take turns hauling items back to the base while the rest of the team continues to farm which will save a ton of energy.
As you level up, you get one extra hit point every time you level up and then three extra hit points at level 99 totally at 200 base hit points.
Once you get around level 25, then you will want to start looking for nails and leather strips. Nails are extremely rare in the game until you build the workbench which allows you to turn iron into nails so it is important that before you build this workbench, you try not to use nails and leather strips are rare for newer players so it is best to save up on them as well. The best way to find nails and leather strips, is to scavenge the chests of the yellow and red pvp zones without being noticed by players who have turned on aggressive mode.
When you enter one of these zones, it will ask you if you want to enter as a solo or team player. Entering as a solo player is safer, but there will only be two chests in the zones, whereas, if you enter as a team player, there will be four chests in the zones and a much better chance of finding a tomb. Tombs are nice because there are two unguarded chests in the beginning of each of them which also might have leather strips and nails. These tombs have more chests which have even more nails and leather strips, but completing them requires quite a bit of time which makes it more likely that you will get caught by aggressive players and requires more weapons and food which makes it more costly when you die.
So I recommend using level 1 armor, level 1 backpack, a stack of 10 food items, a speed potion if you have one, and either a spear or a green weapon to scavenge for chests. If a giant is guarding one of the chests, clear all of the other mobs and then bring it about 15 seconds out and then double back to go get the chest. make sure to get close enough to him that he activates his skill as you pass him so that you have even more time. I also recommend using the hunter class if you have it unlocked because the extra speed will help you avoid enemies and aggressive players. If an aggressive player attacks you and you are not fast enough to get away, run through the mobs so that he will no longer be able to chase you without taking damage from them. Often, the school make your enemy take a longer way around which gives you enough time to get out of his zone.
But even using this method of scavenging you will probably get killed quite a few times. Personally, I think this is one of the best parts of the game because it's kind of like you're playing hide and go seek with strangers that want to kill you. This of course would be horrifying in real life but it is an exhilarating challenge in this game and eventually you will grow strong enough to where you no longer have to run away.
Once you get these nails and leather strips, you can make them into strong hatchets and strong pickaxes to farm copper and Maple in those same yellow and red zones which requires you to play death hide and go seek once again.
A lot of players give up at this point in the game. Don't give up!! To some people, building the workbench is the hardest challenge of Frostborn, but once your team farms the five copper deposits and 9 maple trees to build its first workbench, your whole team will become intermediate players and the game will get a lot easier because it will allow you to make your own nails which is the key to a lot of the best gear including shovels which is the most efficient weapon in the game. So don't give up because I promise you, the satisfaction of placing that workbench and knowing that no one can ever take it from you is well worth it.
After you build your workbench, you will want to start preparing for Odin's. Odin's is the key to becoming an advanced player in this game, but it will take quite a bit of preparation. At this time, you will need more iron than the green zones will afford you pushing you to start farming in the yellow and red zones. Luckily, farming iron in these zones is not nearly as dangerous has scavenging chests and tombs because not only are you using level 1 pickaxes, but you can farm most of the iron while staying near the edge of the map which usually allows you to escape when you see an aggressive player.
You will also want to start doing tombs at this time because they provide a lot of items and resources you can't get anywhere else and it shouldn't be that hard now that you have your workbench because you can craft the resources to do them pretty quickly.
How you approach the tomb is different for each resource you are trying to farm, but as a general rule, it is best to take the quickest route possible to the boss at the end, kill the boss, loot him and the chests around him and then start working your way back towards the beginning. But again, how you do the tomb is a largely dependent on what resource you are trying to get. If you have any trouble getting any resource in this game, make sure you check out my series called the efficacious way to get rich in which I cover hundreds of tips and tricks on farming every resource in the game.
Once you gather enough materials for shovels, bows, food, quilted armor, and a few staffs of defense, you can start completing Odin's. The enemies and chests of Odin's will give you wood, silver, and gold pendants which will allow you to open the caches on the first floor of Odin's. These caches have amazing armor, weapons and some resources for advanced play.
Killing the giant Chief on the first floor gives you the key to open the Sanctum and then killing The necromancer at the end of the sanctum will give you a key to the forge. Once you get 3 forge keys, your team can enter the forge which allows you to earn more pendants and the bosses of the forge often drop the best and rarest items in the game.
The first boss of the forge called The whisperer will also drop a key to the archives which is extremely difficult, but the bosses of the archives give extremely rare PVP gear.
In fact, one of the things I love about Frostborn is that most of the best items in the game have been removed from the shop forcing players to actually play the game to get the best items.
That being said, if you are struggling and don't mind paying for an advantage on completing this challenge, the devs have created a PVE gear set specifically for you call the instigator set. This set is not the best gear for PVP unless you are maybe the hunter class, but it can help you earn that amazing gear by helping you complete Odin's.
But I can also help you complete Odin's for free just by watching my playlist on Odin's so if you are planning to spend money on this game, I would recommend spending it first on the backpack at the Carnage event, then on a repair table, then on premium, then if you still have more money you want to spend, I would recommend the first savings pack after it is full, then on the second savings pack after it is full. and then after all of that, if you still want to spend money then I would recommend buying metal walls because even if you are not planning on doing a lot of raiding. You can trade the vast amount of resources you get from these packs with active players for the best items in the game.
But if you are going to trade items in this game, make sure to watch my video on how to do it so you don’t get cheated.
However, if you are a completely free to play player, then you have come to the right place because it is possible to play Frostborn completely free to play and I would love to show you how.
The most pay to win aspect of Frostborn is raiding because it is almost impossible to farm for lots of stone and metal walls, but it's not that difficult to buy them; however, this is actually not that big of a deal if you understand frostborn's new raiding system so here is how it works.
When you start the game, you will start out with a 48-hour shield. During this time, no one can raid you which allows you to the build up lots of walls to protect your stuff for when the shield disappears. When a family leader hits "start raid", it will begin a 20-minute search for other similar families that no longer have a shield. When it finds four families of similar size and level and activity, it will put the four of you together so that y'all can raid each other for 20 minutes. After that 20 minute window is over, you get another 48 hour shield. But the brilliance of frostborn's matchmaking system is that it includes activity so if you don't raid other people, you will get matched with other people that don't raid other people either which means that they are not likely to raid you. Now you're not completely safe, because some people won't raid for months and then decide that this is the day that they want to raid someone, but as long as your team activates the raid search every time your shield runs out, you can make sure that you are always on during that raiding window which means that you can defend your base and defenders get a huge advantage in this game because they can use walls to control sight and they can use doors to control movement which allows them to pick when the battle happens and when it doesn't. Which often allows you to kill your attackers and claim their stuff as your own.
Furthermore, while Stone and metal walls are pay to win, the Sledge hammers and Nord bombs used to break those walls are actually easier to obtain by playing the game creating a strange dichotomy between free-to-play and pay to win players at high levels.
The second thing that players generally feel are pay to win is classes, but I would argue that the devs did not set this up as pay to win, but rather that it is an extremely grind a part of the game and of course spending money could alleviate that grind some. Regardless, understanding the classes will help you a lot so let me give you some tips on classes. As I mentioned, when you start the game, I recommend using the curer to farm the green zone because it will give you the most sustainability and ultimately save you a lot of food. When you first start leveling up, it will be very easy to unlock more classes because the tasks are generally easy to do, but once you get to level 20, the classes will start to require getting Mastery points to unlock. You can obtain these Mastery points by donating weapons and armor to the altar in the center of New Heim.
The first class that I recommend donating mastery points for is the Sorcerer I because it will make farming green zones way easier and easily pay for itself over time. That being said, if your family chooses roles and you will not be farming a lot of green zones, than it doesn't really make sense for you to get the sorcerer I. After that, I recommend spending the master points to get Hunter I so then you can have the extra speed for scavenging chests and farming Maple, copper and iron in PvP zones. Then I recommend that at least one person in your family spin the Mastery points to get The illusionist I so that you can reset enemies at Odin's.
After that, you need to choose and start working towards a PVE class. For most people, I recommend choosing the berserk II because the berserk is the best PVE class in the game because it gets a huge bonus with shovels which is the most efficient weapon in the game, it can get amazing sneak attacks with the Vran Axe which is the best early game sneak attack weapon and the Berzerk receives 20% less damage from ranged attacks which is incredibly helpful at Odin's. However, I would recommend that at least one of your teammates works towards Rouge II because after you complete Odin's once, the Rogue's using piercing daggers to initiate sneak attacks, will make all of your berserkers with shovels do more damage and eventually allows you to do crazy damage with a fire dagger assuming that someone on your team has a repair bench to repair it afterwards.
So 3 berserkers and one Rogue is my recommendation, but if you are planning on maxing out your ranger line and want to go ahead and get started on that, then the Pathfinder is also good PVE class choice because you do a lot of extra damage with a simple bow which is helpful against wood Giants and eventually allows you to use less of a 5 shot crossbow to group together and kill all of the Giants of Odin's.
After you have gotten your PVE class, then you can start working towards your PVP class. When choosing your PVP class, you need to coordinate with your family to make sure you guys are not choosing the same roles. In the current meta, there are three good team compositions right now. The first one and most balanced of the three is a tank, a support and two ranged damage dealers (usually 1 mage and 1 ranger). The second one is two tanks, a support and a damage dealer. This team comp is the easiest as it allows you to do well even if you make some mistakes. And then the third one is two bruisers and two damage dealers almost always including one Hunter. This is the most difficult composition to pull off, but a team that is really skilled at PVP can use this composition to take out half the enemy team before they even realize they're in a fight.
It is also important that every team has at least one of these classes on their team because these classes all have initiation skills which allows your team to choose when it is best to initiate a fight in open battle.
So after talking to your family, choosing your class will be largely based on your playstyle.
All of the classes are amazing and a good choice, but here are just a few tips of each of the classes.
In addition to being the best PVE class, a berserk with a high damage weapon is also a good PVP character because his extreme damage can often throw off another player who thought they had more time to heal. However, a talented ranged player can easily outmaneuver a berserk and whittle down his health.
The protector is an incredible strong tank. He is not that great at solo play because he has trouble landing kills, but on a team, the protector is amazing. And with a healer, he is practically unkillable. In fact, in the current meta I recommend that every team has a protector in their family because a talented protector that knows when to initiate, can make almost any team win that fight.
The thrasher is the second best tank in the game, and has the best team initiation skill in the game. If a thrasher lands his leap skill well and his team is on the same page, that team can easily get a conclusive advantage before the fight has even begun.
The ice mage is a decent solo character, but it is an amazing team character. His ice wall can not only initiate team battles but often splits the enemy team giving your team a huge advantage.
The fire mage is the highest damage dealer in the game if he is able to build up his fire stacks and he has a long-range team stun. The stun duration is not long enough to make the skill good for initiating a fight, but it is one of the best skills to use right as the teams start to fight.
The illusionist is probably the best mage overall right now and this is particularly true in Solo play. In fact, the illusionist might be the best solo class in the game because not only does he do a lot of damage, but his clones can make him a little bit Tanky and he can single-handedly shred through half the durability of his enemies' armor in just a few seconds.
The healer can hold its own in Solo play, but no other class is as good for a team than the healer. Healing is hard to come by in the middle of a PvP fight so a good healer can easily double the effectiveness of his team. In fact, in the current meta, I believe every team should have healer.
The sorcerer is most easily used to help your team in PVE, but a talented sorcerer can shut down an enemy team with his curse spell which is far more powerful than most people realize.
The Shaman is the best solo class out of the support classes, but it is still much better in a team context. You have to keep in mind that with all three of these support classes, their weapons like the hel staff give their entire team huge bonuses. The shaman is particularly helpful because he can take one-player out of the battle for almost seven seconds which gives his team significant numbers advantage.
The Rogue is a great PVE character being able to deal over a thousand damage in with one sneak attack on monsters and also has the most potential for burst damage as a PVP character, but his skills are also hard to use in a PvP context.
The bandit is actually more of a tank character. Even though he uses medium armor, his health and crowd control skills makes him function more like a tank. His area stun can be difficult to use, but since it stuns enemies and not teammates, if it is landed well, it can often guarantee a team win.
The assassin is one of the best solo PVP classes in the game. A good assassin can often take down half your health before you even realize you are in a fight. But after the assassin uses his burst of damage, he is just a short-range damage dealer which can easily be outmaneuvered in both solo and team play.
The Pathfinder is an amazing ranged damage dealer, but the Pathfinder's true power lies in his ability to mark people which makes everyone do more damage to that target. This damage is multiplicative to other buffs making it even more powerful than it seems at first glance.
The sharpshooter is also a great range damage dealer and he has quite a bit of crowd control including a stun arrow that can travel across the entire map.
And then lastly, the hunter is one of the best solo PVP classes because he can run quite a bit faster than everyone else which lets him run away or chase someone better than anyone else.
So that is an overview of the 15 classes, but I obviously have a lot more information on each one and the devs have said that they are going to be adding more to the game so if you want to know more about all of the classes, make sure to check out my playlist covering every detail of every class.
As I mentioned earlier, many players feel like the class system is pay to win, but in actuality, the class system is just a ridiculous grind. The reason I say this is because it would be very expensive for a pay-to-win player to buy class ranks costing at least $500 to Max out 1 class line.
That being said, I'm not surprised that it still feels pay-to-win as this lines up perfectly with my scientific formula for free to play games which measures how likely a game community will feel like the game is pay to win. On that scale, the first 10 classes rank in grade A (obviously with the first five being a lot easier than the second five) and the last five fit in grade B which is unfortunate because the last five include some of the best classes. These classes are new so I am hopeful that the devs will make this easier in the future and I have reached out to the devs multiple times encouraging them to ease up on these constraints because the grind is not pleasant. In my opinion the best way to fix this problem, would be if they unlocked each class separately. So that you didn't have to upgrade two classes that you don't want just to max out on the class that you do want. This would allow tier 2 free to play players to max out the class of their choice within 3 months which I think would feel really great. If you agree, make sure to let the devs know in their discord server.
As you play the game, there are a ton of other things you will find in this game so let me go through them real quick.
When you first hit level six and travel in the world map, the Carnage event will appear. This is an amazing event which gives you a huge boost early on. Make sure to go quickly to give yourself enough time to bring everything home.
A forgotten tomb event can also appear on rare occasions. This is a really fun event for new players and offers great loot. If you have or can make a strong pickaxe,make sure to bring it to collect the copper at the end. And if you're going with the team then you will have some extra inventory space leftover so it might also be good to bring two normal hatchets to cut down all the trees in that area.
The cursed Town event is one of the most common events you will see and it has decent loot for new players, but it is also a PVP event so only bring gear you are willing to lose or go with your team with your best gear if you want to PvP with other low-level teams. If you are an advanced player, this event it's kind of a ghost town, but maybe that will change now that global is out.
But if you are an advanced player looking for a great PVP event, then the burial ground is the much better choice. This event includes over a hundred enemies usually killed by multiple different teams clearing the area and then after clearing the fourth waves, a boss will appear. At this point, if it hasn't happened already, many of the teams will go into aggressive mode to kill the other teams so that they can be the only ones to kill the boss Gorm and get the awesome loot in his cache. This event is designed to be a bloodbath and while I do recommend doing it because it sounds so fun, I do not recommend doing it for loot unless your team is confident in your PVP skills.
When you farm yellow and red zones, you will sometimes run into the invisible bosses Gunnarr-Viper, Hauk Dire and Brand Warrior. Each of these bosses will drop they're unique ring and once you collect all three, you will be able to unlock the tomb of Ash which sometimes appears as an extra Tomb in team red zones. The tomb of Ash has incredibly fun challenges and a lot of copper so make sure to bring several strong pickaxes, but keep in mind that this is still a PVP zone. Once you open it with the rings, any team that has access to that zone, can enter and try to take it from you. So once you make it past the first fire trap, I recommend to turn it back on to make it harder for other teams to follow you. The loot in this event is kind of trash right now which is sad because it's such a fun event so I encouraged the devs to add a chance to get a level 3 backpack because that would definitely create a lot more PVP in this zone. We'll see if they do it. One little bit of trivia on the tomb of Ash is that the three invisible bosses and the tomb of Ash extend the life of a zone making it to where the zone does not reset as quickly.
Lastly, when you reach level 50, your team can take on Hel's Envoy. Hel's Envoy is a strong boss with three powerful skills that can easily devastate your whole team. As in all these events, I give a lot more tips in my video dedicated to them, the main thing you need to know with Hel's Envoy is that you should clear all of the surrounding mobs first and then fight him away from the middle so that if you die, you can get your stuff back. And then lastly, that he drops some really good items.
So that is an overview of the game, but in addition to these 293 Tips and tricks, I have 38 more for you.
If you have good loot on you, then take it home. This might seem simple, but our greed and optimism can often make us want to farm for just a little bit more and though we might get away with it sometimes, when we don't it cost us a lot so just get in the habit of bringing good loot home. This is especially true if you kill someone and get good loot, because often that player will go get better gear or get more of his teammates to log on, to come back and kill you. So bring his stuff home to lock it in. If someone goes down instead of dying, then that means they have a teammate online so be careful. If one of your teammates goes down, stays in one place and does not get attacked anymore, then you have 50 seconds to revive them. If they go down again after you revive them, the time will it be reduced to 34 seconds, and then 25, and then 20, 17, and so on until the 50th time in which they will die instantly. If a player moves while they are down, those times I just mentioned are reduced by 33% so if you are down, it is best to stay still as much as you can. When a player dies, all of their items lose between 15-20% of their durability. So technically if no one ever did any PVP, we would all be a lot richer, but it's really fun to do PVP and if you're good at it it is lucrative so just keep it in mind. Equipment in Frostborn is divided into 4 colors, but they are not all created equal. For example, the poison bow is a little bit better than the reaper staff. And Odin’s altar is even worse so there are some items you never want to put in the altar and there are other items like the crossbow of shadows, that I always put in the altar. Best weapons for defending your base in a fight you can’t win a cheap bow because you can be incredibly annoying. And firebombs if you are outnumbered. Fire bombs are particularly helpful because they ignore armor. Always prepare your base before a raiding time because you won’t think clearly while being raided. on the flip side, if you are raiding someone else, breaking walls quickly freaks out defenders which makes it harder for them to respond well. As soon as you start the game, you should be trying to build all of your level 1 walls and doors immediately. This is not difficult to do and it will make your base a lot harder to raid. Furthermore, it will also help you realize flaws in your design early so that if you end up having to rearrange something, you can just destroy that level one wall instead of a level 2 or 3 wall later on if you would already upgraded it Likewise, you should build all 40 of your chests right away. Perfectionist will be very bothered by building these extra chests, but you should do it anyways because the more empty chests you have, the more likely the people raiding your base will waist lockpicks by opening the wrong chest. I also recommend upgrading your chest as much as you can because not only will they have to use higher-level lockpicks, but all of those resources you use to upgrade those chests will never be able to be stolen from you. There are a ton of items that don’t yet exist in the game, like the horse and the boat. They will probably come out with those in future updates and I will post videos about them as soon as they do, but in the meantime, I would suggest watching my video on all of the items that do not exist yet in the game. You can cancel a spell by putting your finger exactly on this and then releasing. by pressing on your mini-map, it will make a ping alerting your teammates to the position of that ping on their minimaps. This is incredibly helpful for telling your teammates were an enemy is or anything else that you guys might be talking about. On that note, I strongly recommend joining voice chat with your team, because even if you do not feel comfortable talking, just being able to listen to your teammates that do feel comfortable talking, will make a huge difference in PvP. You can also use this trick of filling your inventory with non resource items and 1 copper or one maple and then clicking your character on auto which will reveal if there is copper or Maple is on that map and the direction to find it.
... Cuts off... 40k character limit for posts 😂😂
Tl;dr 1 - Frostborn just released globally! it is an awesome multiplayer survival game based on Norse mythology. I have followed it for over a year and it has finally released. It has fun co-op challenges and good PVP. Classes in the game are really grindy, but other than that, the game is amazing.
Tl;dr 2 - I have made a concise high quality video that has even more info
submitted by JcFuerza to AndroidGaming [link] [comments]

2020.10.23 01:07 Horror_Blackberry247 Feel like I have no idea how to talk about sex and relationships in therapy- advice needed.

I'm finding therapy quite difficult.
I feel like I'm not sure what my therapist is actually thinking about things, and I always assume they are thinking that this isn't really an issue to talk about or that struggling with something given my life experience isn't warranted, probably because that's what I think. Therefore, I just shut down, feel embarrassed and can't talk through it. Initially, the focus was family of origin and it reasonably validating the volatility of my mum and sister's mental health.
One thing that has been coming up recently more and more is relationships and sex. I really don't want to talk about it with him, partly because of the shame and embarrassment and thinking that he wouldn't understand, but also that I feel that my underlying feelings aren't warranted. I also know that I link this to a lot of chronically suicidal ideations that I haven't opened up about the extent of.
The therapist is a white guy in think mid 30s, but no idea. I'm mid 26 f and of a middle eastern/south asian background with dogmatic muslim upbringing but I'm not religious (scientifically trained and see the world in a different way, but appreciate parts of the Abrahamic tradition) but I just don't feel like I can look this guy in the eyes and talk openly about this stuff. I've basically gone so far to explain a bit about why I've given up in that regard, and after the last session where it was barely touched on, I didn't sleep, completely shut down, went into a really bad mental state where I couldn't see any other options or ways out and was basically in that 'I'm staying alive for my family and friends, and some distant hope that I do something meaningful with my life because I've been lucky with my career'.
I feel like writing it out here might help me be able to and just hope that this therapist never browses reddit! On the surface level, there is huge shame and embarrassment about what I feel are the blocks and the issues, and I feel that this therapist would have some level of internal ridicule towards it and think that my life experience doesn't warrant it, which is probably what stops me from speaking up about these things.
I feel like I have a lot of blocks coming from a lot of directions. So one hand, I grew up in a strict culture full of fear, shame, disgust. If you're in a relationship before marriage, you risk being deemed 'used goods'. I grew up in such a way that you wouldn't let yourself even think about sex because you thought your thoughts were being monitored, and there was a huge threat. On top of that, my mum's mental health is such that she was accusing my dad of rape, or saying that she wanted to be raped by a group of men, saying people were going to accuse her of running naked in the streets if you asked her to cover up a bit more and just generally being a bit unhinged, but it was combined with a lot of religious dogma towards us where we were made to feel awful for being sexual beings- makes no sense, I know but I have quite a deep seated sense of discomfort. My first attempt at a relationship was with an English guy where I didn't realise how many issues I had, but it was complicated- basically at the time I wasn't internally religious but was surrounded by a very dogmatic group of people and there was huge cultural pressure. I didn't end up sleeping with him (I have no idea how he even waited that long tbh) and blamed myself for the longest time. In hindsight, there had been a lot of stuff towards me about race and cultural background- his friends hated my ethnicity, looked down on, i was told it would be near impossible to find someone else who would try for my background, he became fixated on our query future kids not having blue eyes. Overall, I felt a huge amount of shame for not sleeping with him and just felt deeply embarrassed for succumbing to the pressure of dis-ownership from culture and basically broke for a while.
The cultural pressure still exists, I feel like anyone I try to have a relationship with there would be a lot of ridicule for coming what I come from and having the level of discomfort that I do. I have explored my sexuality pretty privately so I feel like I have gotten over that aspect of, I feel like admitting my lack of in person experience to a guy feels so humiliating that I just push people away who are interested because I assume there would be a huge level of ridicule. I think issues around race and body image are hard to discuss as well- I have this underlying fear despite compliments, that anyone I end up with would be disgusted. My mum basically looks European (she has afghan/russian/irish heritage) and alongside all of her other contradictory belief systems as well as deeply internalised imperialism, and colourism, she also has genuinely white supremacist beliefs. So my sister and I grew up being told that of course we would feel insecure in a school of white girls, and that of course my ex would replace me with a white girl, and that your race means that people look down on you. I think alongside various other rhetorics, I have, despite not being told this, have this deep seated belief that guys would comparatively find me pretty disgusting once it came to being that intimate including hair and all of that.
Any situation where I have tried, like a date I had a year ago where the guy drove me into the middle of nowhere with no lights, cars, houses, big roads or anything near by in the middle of the night, locked the car and proceeding to tell me some of the rapey things he wanted to do to me (nothing happened, my phone rang, I was like I don't want this right now). But he was questioning questioning, told me I looked like a deer in head lights, kind of presumed my lack of experience and I felt so embarrassed and foolish. For this scenario, I've convinced myself that finding this anything other than embarrassing and blaming myself doesn't make sense and that I can't label it as a frightening experience because it was more to do with my lack of experience and general shame than his behaviour so I feel like I can't even talk about that.
There has been some other stuff with guys that tbh I've buried deep deep down and I don't really see the point in resurfacing because I feel like I've sorted it out mentally and would it find it too much to even type here, but it all came to my head after the last therapy session I feel like the discussion of relationships I only talk to with my friends who are of a similar background (and not even fully then) because I don't feel embarrassed by it because I know they are going through the same. However, the difference is that they have kept their cultural and religious values. My friends of western cultures, I can't talk to them about it- whenever it has come up there has been an undercurrent of mockery so I feel like I just can't go there. Then there are all of the racial dynamics, for someone of your own race there is a lot of cultural expectation and finding someone with matching spiritual beliefs would be difficult, but this would probably be easier if it were found. For someone of a different race, there are so many dynamics to consider and open conversation needs to be had- I feel like perhaps because I've experienced a fair bit racially, it makes me more cautious.
The other side of it is that I know I have an avoidant attachment style, I find it really hard to let my guard down in relationships and have generally only opened up in situations that were more harmful than not. I had dated quite a bit in the last 12 months (prior to you know what) but never really came across someone I felt a connection with personality wise, at one point had semi given up due to cultural pressure, and at other points could only see blocks to something successful so would end it. And of course there is just generalised compatability and me having to also like them, and I feel like given everything else above it just seems very very unlikely that this will be a good part of life. Another side is having grown up with an unstable parent, I know how that can fuck you up, and given me knowing the places my mental state can go to inwardly (even though its never really apparent outwardly), the places I'll go to is that its probably better not to expose anyone, or to be able to have kids and that way at least the cycle ends with me (even though deep down inside I really do want kids). I think I keep pushing myself in this unrealistic way to work hard and get higher and higher within the scientific/medical world, put a huge amount of pressure on myself in that regard, but all the while I'm getting worse and worse internally. This therapist suggested that I shouldn't discount relationships, but I really really don't know how to talk this guy about this stuff.
submitted by Horror_Blackberry247 to therapy [link] [comments]

2020.10.22 20:59 BachIsMySpiritAnimal Scholarship Programs for Questbridge Finalist & Non-Finalists

Hello everyone! I hope you're all having a wonderful day. As we all are (anxiously) aware of, the chances of matching are extremely slim. While the chances of getting the Match Scholarship are uncertain, us still being unable to afford college if we don't match is not uncertain. So I thought I'd share some scholarship opportunities that I've found for both finalists and non-finalists. Due dates are in paratheses!
Scholarships I am Personally Aware Of:
Horatio Alger Scholarship (October 25th, 2020 for Fall Scholarship)
Burger King Scholarship (December 15th, 2020)
Equitable Excellence Scholarship (December 15th, 2020)
GE-Reagan Foundation Scholarship (January 5th, 2021)
SOPREMA Scholarship (just for trade and architectural majors) (March 20th, 2021)
Jack Kent Cooke Scholarship (October 30th, 2020)
Coca-Cola Scholarship (October 31st, 2020)
Elks National Foundation (November 15th, 2020)
Additional Scholarship Search Opportunities from the Coca-Cola Information page:
Hope this helps some people!
submitted by BachIsMySpiritAnimal to ApplyingToCollege [link] [comments]

2020.10.22 16:54 ChamariX My new partner told me she was sexually conservative but now she acts like an exhibitionist. I like talking to her but sexually she wants too much too fast. What can i do? I don't want to break up with her.

So first issue is that she presented herself to be very sexually conservative and inexperienced.And now that we've been more sexual shes definitely not. Ill explain later.
Second issue is that she is a little more "freaky" than what im comfortable with at the moment.
Thirds she want to have sex like we are in love and i just met her.
So first thing. She told me shes only been dating for a year and waits 2 months before having sex. Talked about her upbringing in Asia being very conservative and her being very shy and not knowing how to "bed a women" her words. I liked the idea of taking it slow because i had just been burned i was dating this guy for 2 months and he no longer was interested in me and i waited 1 month to sleep with him. We both said we wanted to get to know someone before we have sex. I said i just couldn't really feel aroused if it was too soon. And she said she would just never sleep with someone too soon.
Well we haven't been talking long she invited me over after dinner to sit and talk by the pool where lots of cars and apts closes by facing the pool. we talked for hrs which was nice. So i was really surprised when she leaned in to kiss me even more surprised when she opened her legs and put my hand in between her legs. Now im down for kinky stuff but i don't like to be watched and when i would hear noises like maybe someone was watching us i would stop n i saw her getting frustrated with that. Like i could see her making a face everytime i would pull away. And she was very aggressive kisser. I liked it for like ten mins but she kept going and i didn't know how to tell her it was too much for me so i just kept doing it. And i did pause at a moment to say wow i didn't think u would kiss me so soon u keep saying your vanilla. She just laughed and made a joke about realing people in like that but i didn't know if it was a joke or she was being serious. But we made out for maybe an hr or two but i really felt like it was too much too soon.
Second time i come over it was suppose to be a pool date. We hung out in the pool and then she invited me inside to drink. She initiated sex. Right before, i had to close the blinds because they were wide open and she made a comment about sleeping naked n her neighbors probably watching but i thought she meant her shadow not that she was butt naked with the blinds open. But the blinds were pulled up just a little so people could still see us if they tried. Anyways the sex was fun then i was tired as fuck but she still wanted to go and i didn't want to be like im satisfied its over. But we probably had sex for hours like my hand kept cramping. She gave me a shit load of hickeys which pissed me off. Why? She said don't giver her hickeys then gave me some on my neck and when i kind freaked out she told me to just put concealer.
So i spent the night and first thing in the morning she asked me to put my hand in between her and she humped me so long my hand hurt. I seriously kept counting to 5 to pass the time. I didn't really like it. I don't really like sexual stuff in the morning for some reason n the liquor from the night before gave me the bubbly guts. So im just laying here trying not to fart while she going ham on my hand and a really awkward angle.
Next she invites me to dinner again at hers n we smoked on her balcony. I told her weed makes me talk n feel awkward. And we talked about some deep stuff but some questions were too personal for me and she made comments about me hiding stuff from her. Makes a comment about me closing her blinds again. Then she she kissed me very aggressively lots of moment and tounge and again eventually put my hand in-between her legs.
So i realize a car in front of us had its lights facing us and a guy in the car watching. So i pull away n she just says "whatever".
But i cant do this with an audience i felt anxiety then she kisses me again and says "lets see how long they will watch".i pulled away and just stared at the guy till he left. After she asked if i wanted to go inside. I tried just sitting on the bed and talking but everytime i looked at her she tried to lean in and i wanted to talk not fuck. She then says im lucky cuz shes on her period. i did tell her on the 1st date i don't go down on girls on their period. So i thought she knew i wasn't really into giving at the moment.
Anyways this time we had sex she initiated it as well and was super aggressive lots of tongue.i tried giving hints that i didn't like tongue by closing my mouth when she tried doing it or pulling back so her whole tongue wasn't in my mouth. shes being very intimate wanted to kiss none stop or stare into each other's eyes. I was very uncomfortable there was no build up too much kissing and eye contact. And the damn blinds were open a bit again. It went on for a while and eventually she wanted me to rub her out but i moved my hands because i didnt want to rub her against her pad. And she humped my leg for a long ass time again and i could feel her wet pad and wasn't really into that.
When she did try to play with me she kept doing random shit with the vibrator and i would move it to the right spot and she wouldn't keep it there so it was super uncomfortable.
Eventually i kept zoning out and listening the the tv and laughed at one of the jokes and she kinda teased about ghosting me because i was listening to the tv. I used that moment to just slow everything down so i could leave but she jut wanted to stare into my eyes so i kissed like a smooth slow peck very low key just so i could break eye contact and she called me out on it. So yeah when she dropped me off too he made a comment on the eye contact.
I did say sorry i barely just met you and we laughed about it.
Summary: she said she was vanilla but then started acting like and exhibitionist nympho. Wants lots of intimate eye contact and we just met. I love talking to her but i don't think we match sexually. Sex is kinda uncomfortable and too long for me.
Questions: 1.What can i say to tell her that i was expecting or wanting a less sexual or intimate relationship in the begining and slowly building up to this level. Or should i say it
  1. Does this sound normal and im just being weird/overthinking/ ruining it it too sexually shaming to be bothered that shes acting like and exhibitionist and sex last too long?
4.should i just tell her we aren't a match and let it go? She did say shes only been with 2 people. I don't want to fuck with her head by listening to her private life history and leaving after i have had sex with her. u think its a case of too much too fast and how would i express that too her she did say because shes asian from asia shes not sure how to be intimate. (Is this the same as question one?)
submitted by ChamariX to AskLesbians [link] [comments]

2020.10.22 15:41 SeoulofSoraka Vietnamese guy 23, Never had a girlfriend ever, not sure what to do anymore to be considered enough for someone.

I just don't know what to do anymore to be considered enough for someone. I'm not tall enough (5'10), look good enough(not shredded and but I've been doing at least 1-2 hours of physical activity a day), or have a big enough pp to be desirable.
I've always had little to no confidence in myself because I was always fun of at school for how I looked, the popular girls would always ask me out on a date as a joke as a dare from other popular girls and it really shattered what little self-esteem I had.
I don't know how to love myself or be happy, I believe I have some sort of personality disorder I think BPD but I have to be diagnosed first to confirm.
I've been using dating apps for about 5 years now and I've never been able to be in a relationship with someone. My most recent one was I went on 3+ dates with someone who is very artsy and identifies as nonbinary and we had a lot of things in common such as film, art,fashion, music,etc. I love the time we spent together going record shopping, going to the library, the arcade, and just talking for like up to 8+ hours but I tried asking them the "question" about being more than friends and I still rejected. I know I'm not entitled to that or sex, , I'm happy to be friends with them still it just really really sucked they were the most successful match I've ever had on a dating app and still I'm not good enough.
It doesn't help either I'm very clingy or get attached to someone easily who I find attractive or go on successful dates with like I keep thinking of these scenarios where we're together a long time or married and do all these amazing things together =/.
Later this year I tried sex work a few times because I was still a virgin, sure it felt great I'm not a virgin anymore, but I still feel empty inside from lack of affection and it's expensive since I'm a college student.
What really hurt me was watching this video of this Asian Model who also struggled to get matches He was 6'3",amazing looking body AND face, and he still couldn't get matches on say Tinder even if he swiped right on everyone. I already know I'm bottom of the barrel for the dating pool but if he can't get matches/a partner I don't know what else I can even do anymore.
I've had so many people tell me I'll find someone someday or like I have to love myself first but it's been really hard for me to love myself or have hope I'll find someone when I get rejected over and over.
I'm not honestly sure if I would call myself an incel/ricecel, I don't blame women for my problems or believe in the black pill nonsense but maybe this subreddit would help me with any sort of advice.
submitted by SeoulofSoraka to IncelExit [link] [comments]

2020.10.22 07:20 ChamariX My (25f) New partner (27f) made her self seem very sexually conservative, but she acts like and exhibitionist. Not sure if i like it but i like her company. I don't know if this is something to talk about or how to maneuver this situation?

So first issue is that she presented herself to be very sexually conservative and inexperienced.And now that we've been more sexual shes definitely not. Ill explain later. Second issue is that she is a little more "freaky" than what im comfortable with at the moment.
So first thing. She told me shes only been dating for a year and waits 2 months before having sex. Talked about her upbringing in Asia being very conservative and her being very shy and not knowing how to "bed a women" her words. I liked the idea of taking it slow because i had just been burned i was dating this guy for 2 months and he no longer was interested in me and i waited 1 month to sleep with him. We both said we wanted to get to know someone before we have sex. I said i just couldn't really feel aroused if it was too soon. And she said she would just never sleep with someone too soon.
Well we haven't been talking long she invited me over after dinner to sit and talk by the pool where lots of cars and apts closes by facing the pool. we talked for hrs which was nice. So i was really surprised when she leaned in to kiss me even more surprised when she opened her legs and put my hand in between her legs. Now im down for kinky stuff but i don't like to be watched and when i would hear noises like maybe someone was watching us i would stop n i saw her getting frustrated with that. Like i could see her making a face everytime i would pull away. And she was very aggressive kisser. I liked it for like ten mins but she kept going and i didn't know how to tell her it was too much for me so i just kept doing it. And i did pause at a moment to say wow i didn't think u would kiss me so soon u keep saying your vanilla. She just laughed and made a joke about realing people in like that but i didn't know if it was a joke or she was being serious. But we made out for maybe an hr or two but i really felt like it was too much too soon. Second time i come over it was suppose to be a pool date. We hung out in the pool and then she invited me inside to drink. She initiated sex. Right before, i had to close the blinds because they were wide open and she made a comment about sleeping naked n her neighbors probably watching but i thought she meant her shadow not that she was butt naked with the blinds open. But the blinds were pulled up just a little so people could still see us if they tried. Anyways the sex was fun then i was tired as fuck but she still wanted to go and i didn't want to be like im satisfied its over. But we probably had sex for hours like my hand kept cramping. She gave me a shit load of hickeys which pissed me off. Why? She said don't giver her hickeys then gave me some on my neck and when i kind freaked out she told me to just put concealer. So i spent the night and first thing in the morning she asked me to put my hand in between her and she humped me so long my hand hurt. I seriously kept counting to 5 to pass the time. I didn't really like it. I don't really like sexual stuff in the morning for some reason n the liquor from the night before gave me the bubbly guts. So im just laying here trying not to fart while she going ham on my hand and a really awkward angle. Next she invites me to dinner again at hers n we smoked on her balcony. I told her weed makes me talk n feel awkward. And we talked about some deep stuff but some questions were too personal for me and she made comments about me hiding stuff from her. Makes a comment about me closing her blinds again. Then she she kissed me very aggressively lots of moment and tounge and again eventually put my hand in-between her legs. So i realize a car in front of us had its lights facing us and a guy in the car watching. So i pull away n she just says "whatever". But i cant do this with an audience i felt anxiety then she kisses me again and says "lets see how long they will watch".i pulled away and just stared at the guy till he left. After she asked if i wanted to go inside. I tried just sitting on the bed and talking but everytime i looked at her she tried to lean in and i wanted to talk not fuck. She then says im lucky cuz shes on her period. i did tell her on the 1st date i don't go down on girls on their period. So i thought she knew i wasn't really into giving at the moment. Anyways this time we had sex she initiated it as well and was super aggressive lots of tongue.i tried giving hints that i didn't like tongue by closing my mouth when she tried doing it or pulling back so her whole tongue wasn't in my mouth. shes being very intimate wanted to kiss none stop or stare into each other's eyes. I was very uncomfortable there was no build up too much kissing and eye contact. And the damn blinds were open a bit again. It went on for a while and eventually she wanted me to rub her out but i moved my hands because i didnt want to rub her against her pad. And she humped my leg for a long ass time again and i could feel her wet pad and wasn't really into that. When she did try to play with me she kept doing random shit with the vibrator and i would move it to the right spot and she wouldn't keep it there so it was super uncomfortable. Eventually i kept zoning out and listening the the tv and laughed at one of the jokes and she kinda teased about ghosting me because i was listening to the tv. I used that moment to just slow everything down so i could leave but she jut wanted to stare into my eyes so i kissed like a smooth slow peck very low key just so i could break eye contact and she called me out on it. So yeah when she dropped me off too he made a comment on the eye contact. I did say sorry i barely just met you and we laughed about it.
Summary: she said she was vanilla but then started acting like and exhibitionist nympho. Wants lots of intimate eye contact and we just met. I love talking to her but i don't think we match sexually. Sex is kinda uncomfortable and too long for me.
Questions: 1.What can i say to tell her that i was expecting or wanting a less sexual or intimate relationship in the begining and slowly building up to this level. Or should i say it
  1. Does this sound normal and im just being weird/overthinking/ ruining it it too sexually shaming to be bothered that shes acting like and exhibitionist and sex last too long?
4.should i just tell her we aren't a match and let it go? She did say shes only been with 2 people. I don't want to fuck with her head by listening to her private life history and leaving after i have had sex with her. u think its a case of too much too fast and how would i express that too her she did say because shes asian from asia shes not sure how to be intimate. (Is this the same as question one?)
submitted by ChamariX to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2020.10.22 06:20 Heineken20202 Data and trends behind all of my Bumble matches over the years.

So I have been using Bumble on and off since about 2018 so it has been two years. I went dormant for about a year in 2019 due to work and because Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel, and nightlife were treating me well. As soon as COVID-19 lockdowns hit, I started using Bumble again. After some boredom, I reflected on my results.
Bumble is a tougher app to do well on.
I feel like compared to Hinge where I have had 187 matches to date, on Bumble the percentage is significantly lower. I can do this post right now because I didn't have that much to observe. At the same time, I notice Bumble has the hottest girls and highest quality of all the apps in terms of pure looks.
A little bit about me.
I would say that as a 6'1 South Asian guy, a bit on the lighter skin side if that means anything, I have some work to do physically. I am not the 6 pack abs fitness model yet and lean slightly on the chubby side, has gotten worse since the pandemic. I am one of those guys who looks fit enough with clothes on but needs to put in time building that shredded body. Whatever failures I have had, I do not attribute them exclusively to race because I am not at my peak looks yet. Turning 28 in November so I better get on it.
I did however have higher quality professional pics done for the app and that is when I started to get matches like crazy.
I also moved cities and traveled to a couple foreign countries, using Bumble there. Used Bumble in Atlanta, NYC, Bogota, Miami, and Vancouver.
Best was Bogota in terms of lots of matches in a short amount of time.
I am also somewhat picky, I don't go for huge girls or girls who are hideous. My range is in that 6 to sometimes 8 range. In Colombia, I matches with the highest quality and quantity. My preference does lean more for good looking Indian, white, and Hispanic girls but I'll give any race a chance.
Results so far.
Matches that are still active/in conversations/valid profiles = 52
Matches overall = 80 (when we count in profiles that say "deleted user" but show the convos while the profile is no longer valid)
Dates = 12
Lays = 5
I am not counting here likes and women who matched with me but never messaged, app deletes those after 24 hrs. If we were to count those, I'd be over a 100.
Data behind the matches.
I observed my 52 matches that are still active conversations.
By race
White = 22
Hispanic = 17 (overwhelmingly from my time in Colombia, like maybe 4 were American Latinas)
Asian = 3
Indian = 4
Black = 2 (if you count mixed then 5)
Mixed + other = 4
Digging down more on race and some trends.
1 - I noticed that the white girls I matched with were pure white, like they looked extremely white.
My type is more of that Gal Gadot or Dua Lipa look, rarely match with that look. Most white girls I matched with were either blondes, a couple redheads, and the brunettes were just ghostly white looking (think Ireland, England, and that part of the world). I'd say pure white brunettes were my most common match tied with blondes.
Even my European friends say that an Indian dude who is well put together can clean house in Ireland, Scandinavia, the UK, and Northern Europe but will struggle a lot in a place like Spain or the Mediterranean.
I've also seen in real life that the white girls who are very receptive and cool to me are Irish, English, or Northern European background while white women of more Southern European background are very rude.
2 - While I match with Indian girls a fair amount on Hinge and Coffee Meets Bagel, I rarely matched with them on Bumble.
Then again, I did not notice that many of them on Bumble either.
Despite all the narrative of the self-hate in the Indian community, I've done quite well with Indian women. I notice even the westernized ones are really cool with me and it has made me have an overwhelming preference for them over the years. Somehow, Indian girls largely seem to be okay with hooking up with and being with a cool Indian guy who is not the stereotype. I would say I am somewhat of a happy camper since some Indian girls have the kind of look I go crazy for (dark hair and olive skin).
3 - The most glaring one, I did really well with Latinas in Bogota and I think I had about 30 likes in my first day there, I do terribly with them in America.
I was choosy in who I selected and landed matches with some dimes there. It really gets me how different my experiences with Latinas there were compared to the US where they have been largely negative, probably the worst of all the groups. From what I see, Latinas in the US are either whitewashed sellouts who passionately stick by whites or ghetto Latinas that prefer black guys. I have largely had a bad experience with the ones in the US which leads me to avoid most of them these days.
4 - An uptick in likes from blondes and Asian girls in 2020.
I have seen that blondes and Asian women have taken a lot of interest in my brown ass in 2020, not sure what this tells of trends. Looking around in NYC, I have seen a lot more young Indian guys with Asian girls and blonde women as well. In terms of interracial relationships in NYC, it is usually white girls then Asian girls then black girls and a distant last place is Latinas.
My thought is that Indian men are becoming mainstream in a somewhat uniquely appealing way. One other reason is that Northern European descent white girls and Asian girls head to college in large numbers and good schools which means they have probably seen some cool Indian guys who fit the mold of a frat star or cool guy so cool Indians have been normalized.
Compare this to say a Latina or a white girl from a more Southern European background (Albanian, Italian, Greek, etc.) who prefers super macho guys and is raised to see men of my background as a stereotype. Now this could explain why I have done the worst with this demographic in an environment where pics are all they have to go off of.
Stay tuned for my next observation on another app.
I would like to contribute my observation and trends from Hinge and CMB. Hinge is gonna be tough since I will have to look through 187 matches!
submitted by Heineken20202 to AsianMasculinity [link] [comments]

2020.10.21 18:39 andrewri191817 Dating as Foreign Man in the US

I find it really difficult to date as foreign man (Int student) in the US. Not sure why ? But I guess because of culture difference, perception of green card hunting, accent and developing countries look (bit mid eastern-asian mix, kind of hispanic). I have very few matches on tinder also it seems approaching in public/through mutual friends are quite hard
Any thought/experience on this ? Any advice ?
Thank you
submitted by andrewri191817 to dating_advice [link] [comments]

2020.10.21 17:49 PlasticRice Upset. Pls help! Had an account with hundreds of questions answered for over a year -- met tons of great people, went on a handful of dates. Got banned a few days ago, I have a few ideas why, but I'm not sure how to approach this anymore. Support is beyond unhelpful; is OKCupid losing its magic :(?

Edit: Yes, I had two accounts, but like I said, they were banned months apart from each other. The first was probably banned for a duplicate, but from what I'm seeing, my main account that was recently banned may have been due to one of the two women I mentioned. Either way, mass reports seem to get people banned, whether or not they're true at all, even if they're just harassment towards me. :(
Hey, guys. Long-time fan of OKC here. Even after the change in management and upped prices and drastic app changes, I would still have considered OKC my all-time favorite dating app. I've met so many lovely people, and you just can't get the same level of detail or personality in other apps than you can in OKC.
..but, well, admittedly, about a week ago, I tried logging into the app, only to find that my account was banned. This was the second account I've had that was banned (The other account was an exact copy of my first account, actually, but with a few different photos. I used it to have a second-look at people I swiped past, but that was banned months ago, for some reason). My main account was now banned, and I am now super upset, since I've had this account for over a year, have answered tons of questions, and put a ton of effort into it.
There's a handful of reasons I could imagine that I've been banned from the app, none of which are really, well, let me explain. I haven't really used the app too much much for the past few weeks/months, except to maybe pop by and chat with an old friendly match or two from time to time. I will say, I'm always, always polite, never troll, or say anything nasty, or gross, or whatever -- I try to come off as a genuine and approachable-kind of person, and I try to be as amicable as possible. One girl, however, got into a heated argument with me about two months ago about racial identity or something -- long story short -- she called me a white supremacist (because I have dated a few white girls) or something (I'm not white, I'm Asian, and she was white..lots to unpack there), so after a while, I stopped replying. I got messages from her for the next few weeks, but I wouldn't open them. After a while, I was banned. This is one of two reasons I'd think I'd gotten banned, that she repetedly reported my account and actively tried to get me banned (I've read in Google Play reviews that this is a common occurence lately, that accounts can be mass reported and banned with no due review process).
The second reason would be this one gal I met who was fairly older than me (by 11 years, in fact). I'm 21, and I matched with a 32-year old woman who..let's say, wanted to play hooky. I talked back and forth with her a few months ago, but things got stale and we lost contact -- a few weeks ago, I found her on OKC again on a new profile, and I decided to drop by and say hello, and she re-matched with me and we chatted. I dropped the news on her that I recently got a girlfriend, though, and I'd only been looking for friends or chats now, to which she was very, very, VERY upset at me for, and began to passive-aggressively message me, talking about how I was her "Big fantasy" since I was younger or something. I didn't bother replying to her, and..well, yeah, I was banned last week, so I can only imagine she may have reported me repeatedly as well, out of spite. This is the second reason I fear I may have been banned.
Upon being banned, I did what everyone else who's been recently (unfairly) banned did -- try to talk to a human being and get unbanned, and explain the situation. Unfortunately, no such support seems to exist. Emailing [email protected] only sends an automated no-reply response that says "You have been banned, review our terms and conditions, we can't tell you why you were banned," bla bla bla. Like I said before, this seems to be a big problem, especially lately on Google Play reviews, where people are getting mass IP banned all over the place by being mass reported by toxic members. I tried to contact other OKC Support methods through their site forms, but to no avail.
At this rate, I think I may have to say goodbye to one of my favorite dating experiences of all time. This app truly was amazing. And I wish I could have my profile back, let alone have my IP unbanned at this point. :( it's a shame to lose such a gift to toxic strangers whom I've never met before. The change in management ever since the company was sold has been seemingly a downward spiral for the worse, everything that made the app truly amazing and unique apart from counterparts such as Hinge and Tinder has..lost their magic, in a way :(. Would I be saying that if I wasn't banned? Probably still yes. But it's never been more clear to me now, especially since now I have no other means of using the app anymore. :(.
submitted by PlasticRice to OkCupid [link] [comments]